One Day at a Time
by Jenmm31
Summary: There's never a shortage of pranks, sarcasm, or evil to hunt down for these three Winchesters siblings. Join Sam and Dean's younger sister Kate as she finally gets a chance to tell you her side to the crazy Winchester story. Starts with Season 2, episode 1 and will continue along with the series.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone! I've been working on my pre-series sis fic Growing Up, Winchester Style for awhile now and I thought I would try my hand at writing my character Kate into actual episodes. I decided to start with Season 2, Episode 1 to mix things up.**

**Huge thank you to ispiltthemilk, sweetkiwi604, and SPNxBookworm for their encouragement and support! Don't forget to check out all of their stories, because they are AMAZING!**

**Please give me your feedback and let me know if you think I should continue and what things you liked/didn't like about this chapter. All reviews, good and bad, are greatly appreciated as they help me improve as a writer :)**

**Enjoy!**

My eyes shot open and jolted around the room. I had no idea where I was. My breathing started to increase as the panic settled in. I looked around the room and all I saw were pale white walls and a dark blue clock hanging on the wall in front of me. I squinted as hard as I could to see what time it was, but my eyes refused to cooperate as they were still adjusting. I shifted a little in the bed, as I tried to get up. I felt some pain in my back, which was nothing new. Sleeping on those crappy hotel mattress for 19 years really took a toll on my body. Wow, that made me sound like an old lady. Just to clarify—I was not an old lady. Even though my brothers Sam and Dean had been known to call me that on occasion because I was a fan of getting 8 hours of sleep. Screw them, I was in fact 19 years YOUNG and apparently I was running low on power. Two attempts later and I finally managed to get the cover completely off of me.

As I went to slowly sit up, I felt something pull at my arm. What the hell? An IV? Ugh, I _hate_ IVs. I was going to kill whoever gave consent for them to jab a piece of metal into my arm, because I sure as hell didn't approve. Wait…an IV, plain white walls…was there a draft in this room? I reached around to touch the small of my back and realized it was just out there in the open. Oh gosh, first an IV and now a giant sized hospital gown? And they didn't even tie it right. Someone was clearly failing at their job. As I tied the gown as tight at the strings would allow me, my mind started to process through everything. My heart started racing and I felt another wave of panic wash over me. Holy crap, we Winchester didn't do hospitals. Ever. Unless it was a life or dea…oh no. No, no, no.

The last memory I had came flooding back in one big jumble. Sam shooting Dad. Dean being beat up and bleeding. Sam driving us to find a hospital. The semi truck…Oh, shit. I ripped out my IV, quietly yelping in pain as I swung my legs over to the side and slowly tried to stand up. Ugh, why was my body protesting everything? Every muscle ached as I slowly continued to make my way to the door. If there were any ants crawling on the floor beside me, they were surely running laps around me.

"Katie, you're awake!" I looked up to find Sam standing in the doorway. He looked like he hadn't slept in a month, but he had a small smile on his face. "Woah, woah, what are you doing up?" He said as he took a few steps and was instantly beside me, trying to help steady me.

"Sam!" I felt some of my worrying disappear. At least I knew one of my brothers was okay. I gave him a once over making sure he was good, except for the few visible cuts I could see. I reached out to give him a hug, but instead of receiving it with open arms, he quickly grabbed on to my right arm, stopping me mid-hug. Talk about rejection.

"You're bleeding." Concern was clear in his voice. Bleeding from a ripped out IV that _I_ did _not_ authorize was the least of my worries right now. Since when did a little blood worry a Winchester?

"Sammy, I'm fine. Where's Dean? Dad? Are they ok? I gotta go to see them." I tried to push through him, but my 5'8" stature and current lack of strength was really no match for Sasquatch. But I had to see them. I remember Dean and all that blood and…

"You have to calm down. I'll take you to see them, but you need to sit back down first." Not leaving me any other option, I let Sam guide me back over to the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Like a pretty pretty princess." Okay, so my sarcasm got the best of me. I wasn't worried about how I felt; there was a more important issue at hand. " Sam….Are they…are they alive?" My voice was shaking even just asking the question. I was scared to hear the answer. Sam sat down on the bed next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Yes, they are. They're alive. I'm so glad you are awake now. The doctor should be coming in soon to give me an update on them. It's all going to be okay, Kate," Sam comforted me. I exhaled loudly, not even realizing I had been holding my breath. I tried to scan Sam's face for any more clues about what was going on. I knew that look though. He was hiding something from me. He had never been able to hide his emotions very easily.

As if right on cue, the doctor lightly tapped on the door and came inside. "Oh my," he said when he spotted the blood on my arm. Well, hello to you too. This doctor was clearly overreacting. It's not like I was bleeding out or anything. This IV was literally becoming more than a thorn in my arm. I needed to know about my family, but before I could verbally scold the doctor, he had stepped back out into the hall and instructed a nurse to come and put my IV back in. The doctor returned, followed my some stout, black haired nurse. She immediately grabbed my arm and began to clean it. Since when was it illegal to ask my permission before poking and prodding at my arm! But I had other pressing issues and decided to let it slide, _this time_.

"Doc?" Sam asked as I nervously bit my bottom lip.

"Your father's awake. You both can go see him if you like," he explained. I felt my shoulders relax a little. Okay, that was two family members down. One to go…

"And my brother?" I asked with wide, hopeful eyes. The nurse walked to the other side of me to grab onto my arm and start poking a new torture hole.

"Well, he sustained serious injuries: blood loss, contusions to his liver and kidney. But it's the head trauma I'm worried about. There's early signs of cerebral edema," the doctor explained in a sympathetic tone. I felt my heart literally drop to the floor. None of that sounded good. I felt a sharp pain in my arm and turned to glare at the nurse. Couldn't she see I was in the middle of an important conversation? This lady was officially now on my hit list. Well, for when I had time to get around to it.

The doctor continued, "Well, we won't know his full condition until he wakes up. _If_ he wakes up."

"_IF?!"_ both Sam and I said at the same time.

I'm not even sure what the doctor said next. Something about most people don't even survive this long and Sam and I pretty much need to prepare for the worst. My body entered some sort of trance of shock. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I just stared directly ahead at the lame painting of a barn in the countryside that was hanging on the wall. It looked so peaceful. So calm. I just wanted to transport myself there. Finally I snapped back to reality and noticed the doctor was gone, Sam was staring at me, and the nurse was putting the final touches on that needle torturing device.

"Take me to see him. Now, Sam." I don't think I was very threatening. I mean I was wearing that garbage bag sized hospital gown that had to be 6 sizes too big, so I was literally swimming in it. I could just feel my hair was going every which way. And if I looked like I felt, I looked like I'd gone 5 rounds with a wood chipper. Sam and the evil nurse made eye contact and apparently had some mind reading thing going on because she scurried out of the room and came back with a wheelchair.

"Okay, you can take her to see him now," the nurse said as she sat the chair down in front of me.

"Like I needed _your_ permission to see my brother." Okay, so that wasn't meant to be said out loud but somehow it slipped past my filter. Oh well, I didn't like her anyway. Sam gave her an apologetic look as she walked out of the room in a huff. Sam helped me into the wheelchair and we took off down the hall towards Dean's room. My mind was racing. Every case scenario was running through my head. The order of things was just out of whack. Dean was the _strong _one. He wasn't supposed to be sick. Or in a coma. But hell if he wasn't going to wake up. Winchester didn't ever play by the rules. So Dean _was_ going to wake up. He just had to.

* * *

Sam had left me alone with Dean while he went to go talk with Dad. I just stared at all of the machines in the room. None of this was right. It was too much. How was he going to bounce back from this? I slowly reached out to grab his hand, but pulled it back. I didn't want to touch him. He looked so fragile. I just didn't want to make anything worse. As I got lost in my thoughts, I felt my breath steady in rhythm with the breathing machine and my mind drifted back to the last time I had been so worried about Dean like this…

_"Kate!" Dad yelled as he came barging through the motel room door. I immediately put my book down and looked over to see him holding onto Dean. Dad practically had to drag him into the room. Dean's body didn't seem like it was able to support its own weight._

_"What happened? Is he ok?" I felt panic settle in as my heart started racing out of control. After Sam had left for college a year ago, Dean was really all I had left. I ran over to help Dad sit Dean down on the side of the bed. Dean's blood covered shirt caught my eye. "DAD! What. Happened." I wasn't in the mood to deal with Dad ignoring my questions. Something was wrong with my big brother and I needed an explanation._

_"Damn demon got a hold of him," Dad said as he helped Dean get his blood-stained shirt off. His eyes were slowly drooping as if he was falling in and out of consciousness. He put a hand on Dean's shoulder to steady his swaying body. Having been through this process a million times before in my 15 years, I instinctively went over to Dean's duffle to grab a new shirt. As I came back over, I saw a huge, poorly stitched, gash across his abdomen. It looked like a clear liquid was seeping out of it. I immediately knew this wasn't like the other times my brother had come home bleeding. There was something seriously wrong._

_"He needs a doctor!" I yelled as I slammed the shirt into Dad's chest._

_"I fixed him up," he said as if that was enough. I could clearly see he had done it, with it being such a piss poor job and all. Dad helped Dean slip into the clean shirt. Dean seemed like a little kid again, unable to dress himself. His eyes fluttered open and closed as he tried to stay focused on the shirt._

_"He needs a real doctor." I had seen enough beaten up and battered Dean, Sam, and Dad to know the fine line between 'I can survive this with some floss and alcohol' and 'I need the real stuff'._

_"'m fine," Dean said, causing both me and Dad to stop and look at him. I breathed a sign of relief. At least he was still aware of what was going on around him._

_"Now get the first aid kit and keep an eye on him. He'll be fine by morning," Dad said as he helped Dean lay down on the bed so he could rest._

_"Let's take him to the hospital," I pleaded one last time._

_"No, 'm 'kay." Dean didn't seem to have enough energy to even form complete words. He was barely moving his lips when he spoke. Okay my ass._

_"Katelyn, that's enough. He's gonna be fine. Now you stay here with him. I'm going back after that demon. I think it has information we need. You take care of him," Dad finished as he gave Dean a soft squeeze on the shoulder and headed out the door, leaving me without a chance to argue more._

_I turned to Dean. I hadn't realized how pale his face was. "You're not okay." I was beyond concerned. Now I was forced to pick up the pieces alone this time, thanks to Dad's sudden, yet not shocking, exit._

_"Yea, 'm good...don-worry. Batman-don-die." His words were all slurred together, coming out as one long, mumbled bunch. "'ma sleep n be fine," he finished as he gently laid his hands down beside himself and closed his eyes._

_I crawled into the other side of the bed and sat up against the headboard. I didn't take my eyes off of Dean until I noticed that his breathing had evened out, telling me he was finally asleep. The scrunched up, painful look on his face told me it wasn't a very peaceful one though. I wasn't going to leave Dean alone and there was no way I was going to sleep tonight. I couldn't get rid of the unsettling feeling in my stomach. I wondered if this was how Dean felt every time me or Sammy got hurt or were sick. Obviously he was a lot stronger than me because I just couldn't handle this._

A few tears fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped them away. Dean needed me to be strong, not crying. Crying wasn't going to help him. He was going to pull through. Just like he did that time before.

Suddenly I felt someone lay a hand on my shoulder, startling me. I turned around to see it was Sam. "Hey, I'm going to meet Bobby and pick some things up for Dad. I won't be long though. You want me to take you over to his room?" he asked.

Without taking my eyes off of Dean, I replied, "No. I'm fine here. I don't want Dean to be alone." I wanted to see my dad, I really did. But I just didn't have the heart to leave Dean alone. I mean if he…if he di…No, no. I just didn't want him to be alone. No matter what.

"Okay, I'll tell Dad to come over here then," Sam replied as he gave my shoulder a loving squeeze before I heard him take off into the hall.

At least thirty minutes must have passed before Dad came into the room and pulled up a chair beside me.

"How are you feeling, munchkin?" he asked. I turned to look at him. I can't remember the last time he had called me that. I think I was probably 6 years old. For some reason just hearing that come out of him made me feel even worse. I had tried to hold the tears in and keep myself calm, but that one word broke me down. As the tears starting filling my eyes, he gently laid his hand on my cheek as if giving me a once over to check for other injuries, but at the same time offer some kind of comfort. He had never been a man of many words. We sat in silence for a while before I finally decided collect myself enough to speak.

"Why aren't you doing anything, Dad? Why aren't trying to help Dean? You can't just leave him here to die! You have to go find a way to fix this…Dad…please." My voice cracked as I faced him, a few tears escaping.

"Trust me, Katie. I'm doing everything I can," he replied as he reached out and laid his hand on Dean, as if trying to tell Dean the same thing he was telling me. I gave him a confused look before I turned my focus back to Dean. Doing everything he could? Gee, sure looked like it to me. But if there was one thing I had learned in my 19 years of life, it was you don't question John Winchester. At least not to his face. So I just had to _trust_ that he was telling the truth this time.

I'm not sure how much time had passed, but Sam was back and standing in the doorway. He motioned for Dad to come out in the hallway. Apparently I wasn't special enough to warrant an invitation to this top secret meeting and quite frankly I didn't care enough to argue. I was mentally pleading them to help my big brother. The one who had _always_ been there for me. The one who took care of me. The one with crap taste in music. The one who picked on me all the time and expected it in return. The one who got so easily frustrated with us. I felt a small smile pull at the corner of my lips as a memory from a few months back come pouring across my mind…

_"Guys, have you seen my phone?" Dean asked. Sam and I turned back to look at him as he continued to search through the crap motel room, pulling up sheets and checking under everything in search of his cell phone._

_Sam shrugged his shoulders as he continued to eat and I didn't find the topic interesting enough to respond yet. "GUYS!" Dean shouted, this time annoyance clear in his voice._

_"I'm going to buy you one of those waistband clip holders for your phone. I swear you misplace it more times than Sam and I combined," I said as I took another bite of my cheeseburger._

_"Yeah, I hear they're all the rage with the kids these days," Sam joked. _

_Dean sighed in frustration as he stormed over to the table where we were sitting. "How about you both shut up and just tell me where my phone is." He slammed his hands down on the table as he looked from Sam to me, seeing which one of us would break first._

_"Well which is it Dean? Shut up? Or tell you where the phone is?" I asked innocently, not being phased by his death glare._

_"Yeah, you kinda have to pick one or the other. We can't do both, for obvious reasons," Sam joined in, not being able to hide his smile. Seeing Dean get flustered was definitely one of Sam's and my favorite pastimes these days. Living life on the road left for very little entertainment, so we had to create our own. Only this time it was extra special, because it was so unexpected. Truth was neither of us actually hid his phone, but where was the fun in telling Dean that?_

_Dean rubbed his hand along his jaw line, as he took a moment to calm down. I'm sure he was getting frustrated with me and Sam, but clearly that was just out of line. I mean we are a _pleasure_ to be around. "Tell me. Or I'll beat it out of you," Dean threatened as he came around to the other side of the table and stood in between our chairs._

_I let a small laugh escape. "Um, I'm pretty sure Dad made it very clear you can't ever punch me." I smirked as I continued chewing on some fries._

_"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure he never said anything about this…," Dean trailed off as he quickly turned towards my chair, grabbed the back of it and pulled it out from underneath me before I even know what was happening. I hit the ground with a loud _thump_. _

_I let out a very annoyed groan as I sat up. "Why am I always the one who gets thrown on the ground!" My eyes met Dean's, equally as pissed off now._

_"Well Sam's kinda super sized, so my options are limited," Dean retorted._

_"What? So I get punished because I'm not an overgrown giant!" I pulled myself back up and grabbed the chair out of Dean's hands before sitting back down, careful to keep a watchful eye on his every movement._

_"Life's not fair. Get over it. Now give me my phone!" Dean impatiently held out his hand and waited._

_"We don't have it," Sam said calmly. Dean's glare told us he wasn't buying it. "Honest truth, man. No idea where it is."_

_Dean looked at me now, expecting me to have some sort of response too. "Look," I said as I help up my phone and dialed Dean's number. "Now listen." We all waited in silence until we heard the muffled sound of a phone vibrating and playing music close by. I could hear a guitar blasting and drum banging and instantly realized it had to be an AC/DC ringtone. I rolled my eyes as Dean slowly tried to follow the sound, which lead him to his own duffle-shocker. He quickly dug through it, discarding clothes all over the bed in the process. Finally he pulled out his phone and held it up triumphantly as the ringtone continued to blare. I listened more closely and realized it wasn't just music but there was singing too. _

Problem child…

I'm a problem child…

Problem child…

Problem child…

_As the words processed in my mind, I looked down at my phone that still said "Calling The Short Brother". Then it finally hit me. That ringtone was meant for my calls. My face scrunched up in anger. "That's the ringtone you have for ME!" _

_Sam laughed. "I can't believe you still have that on there." I whipped my head around to Sam._

_"Still?" I threw my glance back to Dean. "How long?"_

_"Well, let's see…when did you first get a cell phone?" Dean answered, laughing._

_I was officially offended. "I think out of the two of us," I motioned between myself and Sam, "I'm the less problematic one!" _

_"Well that's still up for debate," Dean said as he took a seat with us at the table with his infamous, devilish smirk plastered across his face_

I smiled as I thought about that evening. I looked up at Dean and realized I missed that stupid smirk he always had on his face when he knew he had won. That stupid smirk that always pissed me off. I never thought I'd miss that smirk. I reached out and placed my hand over his, trying to be as gentle as possible. "Yeah, well look who's the problem child now, Dean. So hurry up and get your ass better, so things can just go back to normal," I said softly, hoping that somehow he could still hear me.

All of a sudden, I hear some raised voices that I instantly recognized as Sam and Dad. Were they really going to have some freaking showdown in a hospital?! I gave Dean one last look before I started to wheel myself out of the room.

I slowly made my way to the door and into the hallway. This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Either I weighed 50 pounds more than I originally thought or that stupid IV had given me some muscle eating disease because there was no way I was that fat or that weak! I made it to the doorway just in time to hear Sam tell Dad to go to hell.

"I knew I never should have taken you kids along in the first place. I knew it was a mistake, I knew it was wrong-," Dad yelled back at him.

Out of nowhere, the glass of water that was sitting on the table went flying off of it and onto the floor. We all froze. Nobody was even close to that glass and it wasn't like a sudden burst from the air conditioning sent it soaring. Something was going on.

Before any of us had a chance to comment on that, there were a bunch of footsteps rushing down the hall. And Sam and Dad turned towards the door to see what all of the commotion was, and in doing so seemed to notice my presence for the first time.

"Kate, what are you doing here?" Sam asked, concerned that I had just overheard their conversation. I guess rolling around at snail's pace in my wheelchair somehow gave me the element of surprise.

"Something's going on out there!" Dad said, ignoring Sam's comment. Sam quickly made his way over to me. He grabbed on to my wheelchair and pushed me back down the hall to find out what all that was about.

We stopped in front of Dean's doorway, much to my dread. Monitors were beeping nonstop, which was _never_ a good sign. The doctor from earlier and some nurses were surrounding Dean, trying to resuscitate him. Oh gosh. No! This could not be happening. I only left him for 2 minutes and now he stopped breathing and was going to die. My throat grew tight as shut and tears began to sting my eyes. I was supposed to stay with him. He wasn't supposed to be alone! This was all my fault. Dean never would have left _my_ side. The tears burning my eyes finally spilled over. I felt like a floodgate had been opened. Dean was literally dying and I was sitting in this damn wheelchair in a garbage bag dress, completely unable to help him.

"Still no pulse," said the needle-poking nurse. I looked up at Sam and saw tears in his eyes too. Sam held out his hand and I grabbed it, squeezing it as tight as I could.

All of a sudden I felt Sam's arm jerk and I looked at him again. He was looking around the room as if he had heard something strange.

"We have a pulse!" yelled another nurse. My eyes jumped back to Dean and I felt my heart slow. I sniffled and used the oversized sleeve to wipe away my tears. He was back. He wasn't dead. And that meant there was still hope. We had to find a way. How? I had no idea. But I was sure Sam and Dad had been making plans. Whatever freaking higher power there was out there, well if there _was_ one, well that person had to know that Dean was a good guy. He saved people. He fought evil. And he deserved to live.

After the doctors and nurses had made sure Dean was stable and left the room, I went back to the same place I had been earlier. I was not leaving Dean's side again. He had always been there for me, especially during the last 3 years. So I owed it to him to stay here. Sam disappeared again, excusing himself and saying he had to go pick something up.

* * *

The room was dark now. The only sound was coming from the consistent beeping of the machines. _One, two, beep. One, two, beep_. I can't tell you how many times I counted along with the beeping. As long as the _one, two, beep_ kept going, Dean was going to be okay. Sam eventually returned and quietly entered the room, clutching a large paper bag in his arms.

I looked over at him with scrunched up eyebrows. "Whatcha got?" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure why I was whispering. I mean, it's not like I could wake Dean up. If all it took was talking loudly, I would have started screaming at him hours ago.

"I uh…I think Dean might be around. Like he might be here with us. And I know you both are going to make fun of me for this, but I think there's a way I can talk to him," Sam said as he sat down on the floor in front of Dean's bed. I wheeled myself over towards him and glanced down at the box he pulled out of the bag.

"Mystical Talking Board? Seriously? I mean we've done a lot of crazy in our day, but doesn't this seem a bit over the top to you?" Apparently Sam didn't think so because he was already taking the board out and laying it on the ground.

"Yeah, and we've also learned to always expect the unexpected. So I think it's worth a shot," he explained as he placed the pointer on the board, ready to start. As much as I knew this wasn't going to work, I hadn't heard a better option all day. I laced my hands and rested them on my lap, silently hoping this would help us get Dean back. "Dean? Dean, are you here?" Sam asked.

I knew we were both holding our breaths because when the pointer started moving to 'yes', we both let out very audible gasps. "It's good to hear from you, man. Nobody's been the same without you around, Dean." He threw a glance up at me and we shared a small smile. Damn straight we weren't the same without him around. He was our _brother_. He was the glue that held this family together.

All of a sudden the pointer started moving across the board, landing on top of individual letters. I couldn't see what the letters were, but luckily Sam was spelling it out. "Hunting? Are you hunting?!" Sam asked.

When the pointer landed on top of yes, I couldn't believe it. My ghost or spirit or whatever brother was _hunting_. I looked back at Dean lying in the bed, so lifeless. Whatever he was doing, there was no way it could be good. "What is it?" I blurted out.

I guess ghost Dean had heard my question because the pointer started moving again, spelling out another word. "A reaper? Dean. Is it after you?" Sam asked, clearly dreading hearing the answer we both already knew. I mean we just found out our brother is essentially alive. Great news and all. But now we find out Death is literally on his ass. The pointer confirmed our suspicions as it landed on 'yes'.

"If its here naturally, there's no way to stop it," Sam said. What the hell was his problem? No way to stop it? Since when did we just give up and throw in the towel before trying everything we knew first.

"There's gotta be a way! Dad'll know what to do, Sam!" I said.

"She's right, Dean. I'm going to ask Dad for help. I'll be back," he replied as he got up and practically ran out of the room. Time was literally not on our side.

I guess Dad wasn't in his room and had mysteriously wondered off somewhere. So, what's new. But in the meantime, Sam had grabbed Dad's journal and we were huddled together, searching through it, trying to find something, _anything_, to help Dean.

"Sam, there's nothing here. There's no way to kill Death. What are we going to do?" My eyes pleaded with Sam to come up with an answer. He was practically a poster child for Geeks-R-Us, so he had to know of a Plan B.

He looked at me with deep regret. "I don't know, Kate. But I know we are going to keep trying, okay? As long as Dean keeps fighting, so are we." Sam stood up and took a few steps over to the edge of Dean's bed. "Come on, man. You can't…you can't leave me. I mean who are Kate and I going to mess with? Dad would kill us, you know that…I just…Just hold on. It's not your time. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not anytime soon. You hear me?"

Gosh, I felt like I was one of those crazy ladies in a Mexican soap opera that Dean and I used to watch while Sam was off at college. I was crying all the time now. But Sam's little speech broke my heart. He was right. We couldn't do this without him. Heck, Dean was the reason Sam was even back with us to begin with. Without Dean, this family would just fall apart.

Sam gently sat down on the bed and I rolled myself up beside Dean, grabbing his hand again. We all just sat there quietly, both lost in our own thoughts.

All of a sudden I thought I felt Dean's hand jerk, which was so weird because he had never moved before. My eyes shot over to Sam, who had obviously noticed something was going on too. And then without warning Dean gasped, waking up and choking on his breathing tube.

I instantly stood up out of my wheelchair to get closer to him. "Dean? Dean!" I ran my hand along the side of his face, trying to calm him down and let him know that I was there, as Sam ran out into the hall to get help.

What I felt in that moment was something I could never explain. After a roller coaster of emotions today, ups and down, hopes and despairs, Dean was finally awake.

* * *

After a night of sleeping in uncomfortable hospital chairs in Dean's room, while he continued to rest, it was finally morning. They had taken Dean away to do some tests and meanwhile, the doctor finally deemed me fit for discharge. I rejoiced as the nurse took out my IV and they let me change into normal fitting clothes that Sam had brought.

I went back into Dean's room shortly after they had brought him back. He was sitting up in the bed and looking better than ever.

"So they finally let you change out of that oversized blanket? That's too bad, it really suited you," Dean joked as he flashed that devilish smirk of his. I let his insult roll right off of me because _that_ was what I missed the most about him. That stupid grin.

"Yeah, well you're just jealous that I looked so good in it," I said, knowing exactly how to trap Dean. He had one weak spot: He couldn't be outdone.

"No way. I could totally pull that off better than you," he said. Sam looked from me to Dean.

"Yeah, Dean. You could totally rock that dress better than Kate," Sam replied smiling.

Dean turned to me with that cocky grin on his face, showing me he had won. I just raised my eyebrows as if to say 'seriously?' Dean let Sam's words process through his mind and he realized what we had been arguing about. The smug grin fell from his face. "Shuddup," he complained as Sam and I couldn't help but laugh.

Shortly later the doctor came in and gave us the best news. Dean's edema was gone. All of his contusions were healed. He was perfectly healthy and they had no way to explain it other than some angel must have been watching over him. Well, obviously this doctor didn't know anything because there was no way in hell ANGELS existed. And even if they did, they would stay far away from us Winchesters.

"So you really don't remember anything?" Sam asked after the doctor had left.

"No, nothing. I remember just before the accident and the next thing I know I woke up to see you two freaks hovering over me like the plague," Dean explained. I know he was just as confused about everything that had happened as we were. "Except I got this pit in my stomach that won't go away. Guys, something's wrong."

I was about to ask him what he thought could be wrong, but I was interrupted by a knock on the door. We all looked over and saw that it was Dad.

"How you feeling, Dean?" Dad asked as he made his way towards the bed. My head tilted sideways in complete confusion. Dean had been right; something was wrong. The look on Dad's face just didn't seem _right_. Heck, I was happy he was smiling and being friendly for a change. But there was just something _different_ and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Fine, I guess. I'm alive, so that's a plus," Dean replied.

"Where were you last night?" Sam demanded. That kid didn't waste any time getting down to business. Could we please just celebrate this family moment and the fact that Dean was alive before we ruined it with our family issues?

"I had some things to take care of," Dad replied, clearly trying to avoid the topic. He met Sam's gaze, which was clearly telling him he wanted more information. "I didn't go after the demon if that's what you're thinking." Well that hadn't been what I was thinking, but I was glad Dad cleared that up for us.

"You know, why don't I believe you right now?" Sam's voice rose, which was never a good sign. I stood up, ready to get involved in this. The last thing I needed was some bitch fight to break out and then Dean to get stressed and hurt again. Apparently Dad had the same idea.

"Can we not fight? You know, half the time we're fighting, I don't even know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads." He paused as he took a deep breath before continuing. "Sammy…Katie…I know I've made some mistakes. I know I wasn't always Father of the Year. But I've always done the best I could for you kids…," Dad trailed off.

I stared closely at my dad. Oh my gosh…were those _tears_ in his eyes? Since when did John Winchester get teary eyed and have a heart to heart with his kids? Now I knew something was up. "Yeah, Dad, we know," I answered slowly, still hesitant as to where this was all leading.

"Dad, are you all right?" Sam asked softly, obviously forgetting about the fight they were just having.

"Yeah. I'm just a little tired. Do you guys, uh, mind getting me a cup of joe?" he asked with a small smile. John Winchester didn't ask if you _mind_ doing something. He just told you to do it whether you wanted to or not. That was when the red flags went up everywhere for me.

Sam walked around to the other side of the bed and stood beside me. "Yeah, sure. Come on, Kate," he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guided me out into the hall along with him. I looked back and caught one last glance of my dad staring at us. If I hadn't known any better, I would say that I saw a tear fall down his cheek.

Sam and I were too confused and in shock of what had just happened to say anything. We slowly made our way down the hall to the coffee machine. Sam put the change in and the coffee started pouring into the cup. A million things were running through my mind. Since when did Dad bear his heart to us? When did he apologize for stuff he'd done? It was just weird.

Sam and I made our way back to Dean's room. Being the normal nosy person I was, I kept my gaze to the right, looking into each room as we passed by. But then that's when I saw him. Dad. Just lying there on the floor. I reached out and tugged at Sam's arm, which caused him to drop the coffee, spilling it all over. I felt like my life was going in slow motion as Sam and I went to be by Dad's side, yelling for help.

Nurses and doctors came rushing in. They got dad up on the gurney and were hooking up machine and starting to beat down on his chest. Trying everything they could to get his heart to start again.

Dean must have overheard the commotion with his bat like ears because he came hobbling up behind us in no time. I turned around and grabbed onto his arm, trying to steady him, as we all looked into the room at our father.

"Okay, that's it everybody," the doctor said.

"No! NO! That's our dad! It's our dad!" I yelled at them, but to no avail. Dean gripped onto my arm tighter, as if offering some form of comfort. We all knew what had just happened. But it wasn't real until…

"Time of death: 10:41am."

And that's when my entire world came crashing down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! You guys have blown me away! All of your kind reviews and adding this story to your alerts took me by surprise :) I'm SO sorry for making you wait so long for the next part, but I have been buried under homework.  
****This chapter isn't as long as the first one, but I wanted to get something out to you guys. So I will finish up the episode in the next chapter.**

**A HUGE THANK YOU and special shout out goes to sweetkiwi604 for making the _awesome_ cover imagine for this story AND my other one, Growing Up, Winchester Style. She is seriously too nice! So check out the picture if you want to get a better idea of what I thought Kate might look like. And don't forget to check out all of her sisfic stories too! You will love them.**

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think..things you liked/didn't like, etc. Your feedback helps me SO much :)**

* * *

It was one of those moments in my life when time felt like is was flying by, but at the same time it was standing still. Everything was changing, yet everything was the same. My life was in slow motion, but I felt like too much was happening and I couldn't keep up. Talk about a major problem. It'd been one week and 2 days since my dad died. And one longishly short and quickly slow week since we buried my dad. Well, buried no. We gave him a hunter's funeral, like he deserved. I remembered everything from that day, but yet I remembered nothing at all. I remembered feeling the heat of the flames as his body burned. I remembered seeing the tears that streaked Sam's face and the rigid look on Dean's before I walked away because I just couldn't stand there anymore. And I was relieved when neither of my brothers followed me and just gave me my space. But I couldn't remember what had been going through my mind.

After the funeral, we went to Bobby's house to rest, recuperate, heal, avoid the real world, call it what you want. Lately I had spend a lot of time holed up in my room, exchanging few words with everyone else. I had never had to process this kind of grief before. My mom died when I was just a little baby, so I don't have any memories of that. But my dad…I still couldn't believe he was gone. _Gone_ gone.

I finally decided it was time to venture out of my room and join the rest of the world in sunlight, hoping that would help. I still wasn't feeling up to talking about anything, so I knew the perfect person to be was with Dean. I was out in the junkyard sitting on some rusted piece of old car as Dean was working under the Impala in front of me. We had barely exchanged any words, but I found the silence comforting in a way, just knowing he was nearby was nice. I looked down at the old cell phone I was holding. It was one of Dad's and I was determined to crack his voicemail password, but it had been an epic fail so far. Sam had always been the more technological savvy one out of all of us, but this was a great distraction for me.

I heard a bunch of clinging and clanging, knowing Dean was working hard. I glanced over to my side and saw his open beer bottle just chilling there. Not wanting it to go to waste, I reached over with my free hand and grabbed it and took a nice, long swig.

"You drinking _my _beer?" his voice came from under the car. How does he _always_ pick up on this stuff!

I quickly swallowed and examined the outside of it. "Don't see your name on it." When he didn't respond, I took that as an open invitation to drink some more. I never drank really. Heck, I didn't even like the taste of beer, but there were just some times where a beer just sounded good. Dean must have realized that this was one of them.

Sam suddenly appeared beside me as I was taking another drink, which warranted me a disapproving look. "What?" I argued.

"What are you doing?" he asked. As if it wasn't obvious.

I was sure he was referring to the drink in my hand, but I wasn't having any of that. "Supervising. Making sure Dean doesn't mess up the car."

"Yeah? Need any help?" Sam asked. I was shocked he was going along with my completely ridiculous answer. We both knew what he was trying to do and it wasn't going to work.

"Yeah, I'll pass. I don't need you supervising me supervising him. Seems kinda redundant, doesn't it?" I took another long swig of the beer as Sam stood there, slightly shocked by my hostile response. I loved the guy, but he just needed to give me some time and not push it.

"Oh, well…do you guys need anything else then?" he asked, still hopeful.

Dean rolled himself out from under the car, deciding to make his presence known. "Stop it, Sam." Ah, thank you brother Dean. He got up and made his way over to the tools sitting on a table nearby.

"Stop what?" Sam asked, pretending to be oblivious to what we already knew he was doing.

"Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if Kate's okay. We're fine, really," Dean responded. I could tell he was getting frustrated with Sam.

"It's just… we've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you've never brought up Dad once and Kate has barely said two words about everything that happened!" Sam argued.

"Barely two words? Well how's this: Dad is dead and the colt is gone," I said, counting each word on my fingers. I held up eight fingers as if to prove my point. What else did he want me to say? Sure, Sam was used to be running to him when I had an emotional crisis, but this time I was in crisis overload and just needed time to sort it out before I sat down and had a chat.

"Exactly! Aren't you angry? Want revenge? But, Dean, all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car of yours!" Sam yelled back.

Well, this was going to get out of hand, especially when damn and car were used together. I'd said my two cents worth and I just couldn't deal with a bitch fight between my brothers. So I grabbed the cell phone and quietly snuck off around to the other side of a broken down car, trying to block out everything they were saying. I wanted to crack this damn voicemail code. I was trying every combination of number I could think of. It was only 4 numbers. Seriously how many different combination possibilities were there? Ugh. Mom's birthday, Dad's birthday, I tried everyone's birthday. Addresses. Ages. Special dates I could remember. Dad was smart, I'd never deny that. But a guy's memory couldn't be THAT good. The number had to have some meaning in order for him to remember it. Wait…24…2…6…all three of our birth dates. I carefully pressed the numbers in.

"I got it!" I yelled as I stood up and flipped on the speaker phone. Sam and Dean turned to me, both looked to be pissed off. "I cracked his voicemail code!" I announced as I made my way over to them again. They came over by my side as I went through the menu options to replay the saved message.

_"John, it's Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn, you know I can help you. Call me."_

It was from 4 months ago. Dad saved this random message for _four_ months. We all agreed (shock) that it was worth checking out.

"Well go work your magic and get us an address," I said as I tossed Sam the phone, which he barely caught. Getting rusty after a week? Geesh.

"And ask Bobby if we can use one of his cars," Dean threw in before he went back to working on the car.

* * *

Finally we pulled up to some old looking bar in the middle of nowhere called _The Roadhouse_. As we got out of the junky minivan Bobby had lent us, Dean slammed the door in frustration. "This is humiliating! I feel like a friggin' soccer mom."

"Feels more like karma," I said as I went past him towards the main doors.

"Yeah, for all those times you wouldn't let us play soccer," Sam retorted. I glanced back over my shoulder and shared a smile with him. Guess he was back on top of his game in the helping me screw Dean over department. It felt great…like things were getting back to normal-ish.

"That wasn't me, that was da-," Dean began but stopped himself, realizing what he was about to say. _Dad_. He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. We fell into a deep silence as we continued looking around the outside of the bar. So much for normal-ish. "You bring the, uh," Dean asked, ignoring our previous conversation.

Sam tossed him the lock pick and he got right to work. I waited impatiently beside him, tapping my foot just to annoy him. After giving me the death stare, he finally managed to open the door and we headed inside.

Well it was definitely a bar. Complete with a drunken man sleeping over on the pool table. "Well I'm guessing that isn't Ellen," Sam said as he made his way towards the back room, looking around.

"Yeah," Dean said as he went over to investigate Mr. Unconscious. Well, it looked like they had everything under control in the back room and the bar area. Oh, that left just looking _behind_ the bar. Nominating myself for the job, I walked over and stared at everything. I was no expert in alcohol, or hell even bars for that matter, but they had a nice collection here. I squatted down, checking out all the alcohol they had hidden beneath. So many bottles. This would be Dean's definition of a Heaven. Wow, there was Jack, Jose…

"Dean, check this out!" I said as I stood up, holding a bottle in each hand. I was expected to see just my brother, eagerly grinning back at me, but instead I had 8 eyes staring back at me. 8 eyes and 2 guns on my brothers. I looked from Sam to Dean, then to the 2 bottles I was holding in my hand. Like I said before, I wasn't an alcoholic or anything, but this current scene wasn't helping my case. Wrong place, wrong time was an understatement.

"Kate," Sam scolded in a low voice.

"Well this is awkward," I said as I sat the bottles down gently on top of the bar and held up in hands. The last thing I wanted was to get shot.

"Wait…Dean, Kate," the dark haired lady said as she looked from me to Dean. Then she turned to my other brother. "Sam?"

He slowly nodded his head. "Mom, you know them?" said the younger, blond haired girl who had the rifle pointed at Dean. I looked her up and down. Geesh, shirt get shrunk in the wash much?

"Son of a bitch. Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's kids," she said as she lowered down her gun, suddenly smiling. "Hey, I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo."

Jo lowered her riffle too. "Hey." Well this was getting interesting.

* * *

We all pulled up some chairs and saw down for a little pow wow. Ellen went to grab some ice for Dean, turned out Goldie Locks got the upper hand on my brother. I was still debating whether that was a point in her favor or against her.

Well it was time to get this show on the road. "So we heard a voicemail you left for our dad a few months back. You said you could help…with what exactly?" I asked.

"Well the demon of course. I heard he was closing in on it," Ellen replied, as if we should already know this.

"What, was there an article in the Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? I mean, who are you? How do you know about this?" Dean asked. Right on, Dean. Took the words outta my mouth, because last time I checked John Winchester didn't share that kind of information with just anyone. Who was this lady?!

"Hey, I just run a saloon. But hunters have been known to pass through now and again. Including your dad a long time ago. John was like family once," Ellen explained. The look she shared with Jo made me think that hunters just didn't pass through every now and then…it seemed more like a place _just_ for them.

"Well he never mentioned you, so why exactly do we need _your_ help?" I asked. Why was Sam just sitting there and letting me and Dean do all the interrogation. Normally the guy wouldn't shut up.

"I can do without the attitude because I know John wouldn't have sent you if…," she trailed off as she looked at all of our faces. There was a great possibility that between the 3 of us you could see an epic mixture of pain, hurt, guilt, annoyance, and sadness. "He didn't send you." Sam and I shared a glance. "He's all right, isn't he?"

Looked like she didn't get the latest issue of Demon Hunters Quarterly afterall. There was a long pause as nobody answered her. I wasn't about to share what had just happened. Even though this lady _claimed_ to be like family with Dad, she wasn't to me.

"No. No, he isn't. It was the demon, we think. It, um, it just got him before he got it, I guess," Sam explained. He wasn't as concerned about indulging family information as I was apparently.

"I'm so sorry," she said in a very sympathetic voice.

"It's fine. We're alright," I interjected. I didn't need her dragging on this moment any longer. It was bringing up memories and feelings that 2 outta 3 of us hadn't even processed through yet.

"Really? I know how much your dad cared bout you kids." I felt a lump rise and my throat tighten. I knew Dad loved us and cared about us, even if he had a..um…_different_ way of showing it. But hearing someone else tell you that hit me so unexpectedly.

"Really, lady, we're fine," Dean said coldly. Leave it to him to turn down the feeling thermostat on this conversation.

Ellen explained to us that she in fact could _not_ help us, but instead this weirdo named Ash could aka Mr. Unconscious aka 'a genius' according to Jo. Um, you might to consult the latest version of Merriam-Webster because "drunken and passed out on a table guy with a bad haircut" wasn't one of the definitions.

"You've got to be kidding! This guy's a freaking Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie," Dean joked as Ash came over by us.

"I like you," he said pointing to Dean. He turned and appeared to notice my presence for the first time. "And I'm loving you," he said looking me up and down. Oh geeze, did that comment just made me blush? I feel so gross. So, so gross.

Without missing a beat, Dean immediately stood up and motioned for Ash to go over to the bar, drawing him away from me. He really thought I needed protected from _that?_ Um, no. I could assure you that there was no way in hell I'd be into _Ash_. Oh, but where would the fun be in letting Dean know that?

I followed Dean over as he laid down the huge folder full of Dad's research on the table. "This stuff's about a year's worth of our dad's work," he stated, almost proud.

"Yeah, let's see what you can make of it," I said as I leaned up against the bar and rested my head in my hand, ignoring the confused look Dean was throwing my way.

Ash quickly combed through the papers before saying, "Come on, sugar. This crap ain't real. There ain't nobody can track a demon like this." I was positive I saw Dean's muscles tense up. Oh how great it was. "I mean _damn_. These are all signs. Omens, you can track 'em, you can track this demon," he finished.

I walked to the other side of Dean, so I was now standing between him and Ash. "Well, you think you can do us a favor and track this bastard? We'd so _greatly_ appreciate it," I said as I leaned in closer. Ash stayed paralyzed for a few moments as I felt a tight grip around my arm and Dean jerked me back by his side. Talk about overreaction.

"Well, peeps, with this, I think so. But you gotta give me time…say…51 hours. Well, 53, if little miss wants a date," he said motioned to himself. I felt a laugh creeping up on me. Was this guy for real? Oh, this was just too good to make up.

"Yeah, no, don't think so. She's good," Dean said before I even had a chance to respond.

"Well, your loss," he said to me before he took off towards the back door.

"Hey, Ash!" I called after him. "I dig your haircut," I said with a wink.

"Damn straight. All business up front, party in the back." And on that note he walked into the back room, leaving the three of us laughing. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed these kinds of moments. For a brief second I had forgotten about the doom and gloom that hung over us.

Next thing I knew, Dean was up and walking over to a different table, since his immediate threat was gone. I was left with Sam and Ellen at the bar. Sam started asking Ellen about a police scanner or folder or something of the sorts. I was trying to listen, but I was too distracted by spying on Dean and Jo. My eyes narrowed as I saw them flirting. Woah, back this train up. Did I just get irritated because a girl flirted with Dean? Omg, was I doing to Dean what Dean was doing to me and Ash? Does that even make sense?! Ok, no. Totally different situations. It had to be. Let's see. I was flirting with Ash just as a joke to bug Dean because otherwise flirting just wasn't me. I didn't think Dean was flirting with Goldie Locks to piss me off, nope…he was doing it because he was _Dean_. See? Totally different. Normally I'd just accept that and move on, but there was just something about a girl who wore a shirt that was fit for an 9 year old that rubbed me wrong way.

Sam nudged me, bringing me back from my inner freak out of being like Dean. "What do you think?" he asked holding up the folder. I suddenly felt like I was back in high school when the teacher would call on me and I realized I hadn't been paying attention to a single word. Oops.

"Yeah, sweet folder." Solid response, right? I figured I had a 50/50 chance that it worked in this scenario.

Sam just rolled his eyes and called Dean over. Well, guess I picked wrong. Turns out it was about a hunt not too far from here and both Sam and Dean deemed it necessary we investigate. Sounded good to me. I was over this bar anyway.

* * *

We piled in the minivan and made our way on out just as the rain started pouring down. Ugh, why rain? It just made the situation seem more dramatic than it really was as Sam explained the case.

"Seriously? A killer clown?" I exclaimed. Man the crazy just never stopped.

"Yeah, that's what it seems like and Cooper Carnivals seems to be ground zero. Cops got no leads and everyone's got a solid alibi. Oh, and the girl said she said a clown vanish into thin air," Sam explained.

"Well, I know what you're thinking, Sammy. Why did it have to be clowns?" Dean joked. How had I forgotten about that? Oh my, this case just got a million times better.

"Oh give me a break," Sam tried to defend himself.

"Just admit you've always been scared of them," Dean joked.

Before Sam had a chance to respond, I said, "Yeah, like that one time when I was like in Kindergarten and you took me to that school carnival and…"

_"Sammy, I wanna go over there!" I said as I pointed to a group of kids in the opposite corner. We were standing in the gymnasium at our elementary school. It was the day before Christmas vacation and the school decided to put on a carnival instead of giving classes. Dad hadn't given us any money, so we couldn't play games, but between both of our left over lunch money, we had enough to get a bag of popcorn._

_"Let's get popcorn first before they are all gone," Sam tried to persuade me._

_"But I wanna go _there_," I whined. He never let me do what I wanted. He wasn't being a good, big brother. I wished Dean hadn't been in middle school so he could had taken me around._

_"Fine, we will later. Just wait here while I grab us the popcorn. I'll be right back," he said as he pointed to a chair that was up against the wall. I reluctantly took a seat as Sam took off to a nearby table to buy our snack. _

_I swung my legs back and forth, as they didn't touch the ground. I couldn't take my eyes off of all the kids across the room laughing and having a great time. I wanted to be with them, but Sam wasn't letting me. I looked and saw the back of his head as he waited in line. There were quite a few people in front of him, so I figured I could make it over there, see what was going on, and be back in time._

_I quickly made my way across the gym and into the swarm of kids. They were all taller than me, so I pushed my way to the front so I could see. It was a clown! He looked so funny in his crazy yellow and orange outfit with red hair. And he was making balloon animals! It was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I had to have one. _

_The clown made eye contact with me and I shyly waved at him. "Well come here, sweetie. What can I make you?" I knew I had heard that voice before but couldn't place it at the time._

_"I want….a dog!" I squealed. Sammy was going to love this! I was staring in awe as he blew up, twisted and turned the balloons around and it started to look just like a dog. _

_The next thing I know, Sam is beside me, tugging on my arm. "Katie, let's go now!" he pleaded as he started dragging me away. _

_"Stop it! I want the doggie," I said as I tried to break free from his grasp. I looked at Sam's face and I had never seen such panic and fear before. He didn't let up on his grasp and he continued pulling me through the crowd of people. Even my protests and arm smacking didn't stop him until we were on the complete other side of the gym. "Sammy! You're so mean! I wanna go back to the clown," I begged. I wanted my balloon animal._

_"No, they're...they're not nice. Now just sit here and eat your popcorn," he said as he pushed me down into the seat and handed me the popcorn. He sat down beside me and I could tell that he was breathing fast. I watched as his eyes stayed wide and he kept searching around the room, as if watching out for something._

Dean started laughing. "Wasn't that clown the school janitor? The one that you talked to _every day_ at that school?" he joked as he looked over at Sam. That was it! It was the school janitor. I knew I recognized that voice. Sam The Scardy Cat!

"Shuddup!" Sam said. Like that was going to work.

"And just fyi, I never got my balloon animal!" I threw in for good measure.

"Yeah well at least I'm not afraid of flying," he said looking at Dean. "Or _bugs_," he said throwing a glare back at me.

"Planes crash!" Dean defended himself.

"And bugs attack!" I reminded them of our rather unpleasant meeting with gross insects out to kill us last year.

"And apparently clowns kill!" Sam yelled. Well, we all had our issues. I wanted to argue that Sam's was the most illogical, but I was pretty sure that went without being said.

"So these types of murders ever happen before?" Dean asked. I, for one, had certainly forgotten about the case for a moment. Taking a stroll down memory lane threw me off track. Basically what those two knuckle heads came up with was we had ourselves a cursed object floating around this carnival.

"Just great. I hate searching when we don't know what we are searching for. Defeats the purpose of searching! Whose idea was this case anyway?!" I complained.

"Most definitely Sam's. Why is that, by the way? You were awfully quick to jump on this job," Dean said.

"So what," Sam replied, trying not to meet his gaze.

"It's just…not like you, that's all. I thought you were hell-bent on the demon hunt," Dean replied.

"I don't know. I just think taking this job is what Dad would have wanted us to do…," Sam responded.

"What Dad would have wanted…," I quietly repeated. Sam had a very valid point. I agreed with him there, but apparently that wasn't apparent in my response. Didn't they know that I wasn't _always_ sarcastic?

"Yeah! So?" he retorted, looking back at me.

"Dude, I agree with you," I said. He smiled softly back at me as if to apologize before turning around and staring back out at the road. We all fell into silence. I glanced up front and I could see Dean gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary. Clearly something was bothering him.

* * *

The next morning it was time to get down to business. We hopped into the Brown Crapper, as I affectionately called our new wheels, and made our way to the Carnival. We saw the police interviewing some people, so something had gone down overnight. Dean told us to wait nearby why he went to see what information he could get from them.

What happened next, I couldn't have planned it better myself, even on one of my best days. As we were standing there waiting, this three foot tall lady in a clown outfit passes right in front of us. The look on Sam's face was priceless. It was nervousness mixed with pure fear. I quickly pulled out my phone because I just had to capture this as evidence. I tried to get to the camera as fast as possible, but it was hard. Anyway, by the time I managed to pull it up, the moment had passed as the small lady walked off and Sam visibly relaxed a little. Talked about wasted opportunity. I really needed to make a short cut button for the camera. Well, no better time than the present.

As I was still messing with my phone, Dean walks up beside me. "Did you get her number?" Ok, now I was offended. This was supposed to be a 'pick-on-Sam' moment and it just backfired. Sam and Dean both chuckled.

"No, but I got Ash's," I said closing my phone and shoving it back in my pocket. Dean's smile suddenly turned to a scowl. Ah-ha! Take that. Now who had the smug smile on their face?

"More murders?" Sam asked. Leave it to him to get us back on track again.

"Two more last night. Apparently they were ripped to shreds. And they had a little boy with them. Said a clown vanished into thin air," Dean explained.

"Looking for a cursed object is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles. It could be anything," Sam said. This hunt just seemed less and less appealing by the minute. I took a look around us and spotted something much more interesting.

"Okay, well good team meeting. I'll be over by the cotton candy machine while you two go hunting for this cursed thingie. Let me know what you find out," I said as I started to walk off. I had walked off enough that I thought I was home free, but I was suddenly, and very rudely, grabbed by Sam. The guy had like a wingspan of a freaking airplane. Ugh.

"Well it's bound to give off EMF, so we ALL will just have to scan everything," Dean said, emphasizing the part that meant I had to go on this search for a mystery object too. Joy.

"Great, that won't take too long at all." The sarcasm was thick in my voice.

"Yeah, that'll be so nice and…inconspicuous," Sam threw in, equally as sarcastic.

"Inconspicuous?" I repeated. Look at Mr. College boy showing off his stuff.

"Inconspicuous," he confirmed.

"Really?!" Dean asked, looking at him irritated.

"What? Would you like me to spell it for you? I-n-c-o-n" Sam retorted, but I cut him off.

"s-p-i-c-u-o-u-s," I finished, earning a proud look from Sam and an annoyed one from Dean.

"Show offs," Dean muttered before he pointed a nearby sign said "So translation: We are going to have to blend in." And he took off towards what appeared to be the main tent.

I looked at the sign he was pointing to. _Help Wanted…S. Cooper._ Great. Just great. His bright idea was for us to become carnies. After I thought there was nothing we hadn't already done…I jogged to catch up with my brothers. This case was turning out to be quite something. They said part of healing was getting back to your normal life, and quite frankly this was probably as normal as it got for us. So maybe this was just what the doctor ordered. But I still couldn't get this feeling out of the pit of my stomach. This never ceasing feeling…feeling of emptiness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! Thank you so much for your support! Whether it be through reviewing or adding my story to your alerts or favorites...you guys ROCK! It's all amazing encouragement :) You are even MORE amazing because you guys have**** been so patient and have stuck with me so far. School is getting hectic, but I will try to update as often as I can. I love writing this!**

**Thank you to HattieKatt for letting me throw some ideas around with her. You guys help me so much with these chapters.**

**And lastly, if you have a chance, be sure to check out my other sisfic that has a bunch of one shots of Kate and the boys growing up. Then you can get to know her a little better :)**

**Don't forget to read and review! I love hearing your feedback...what you like/didn't like. It all helps me improve! **

* * *

Well Dean had his bright idea that we needed to 'blend in' and thus had to beg for a job as carnies. So we made our way over to a large, colorful tent in search for this S. Cooper guy that was listed on the _Help Wanted_ sign. As we went inside, there was an older, white haired guy throwing knives at a bullseye. I was not going to lie. This guy was good. I was immediately jealous.

"Excuse me, we're looking for a Mr. Cooper. Have you seen him around?" Dean asked.

"What is that, some kind of joke?" the old man said as he turned around and took off his sunglasses. Ok, jealousy was gone and pure awe was in. How was this _blind_ guy hitting the target with such perfection? Oh my gosh. I needed HIM to be my new teacher.

"Oh..god. I'm, I'm sorry," Dean stumbled over his words. Wait, was this guy giving Dean a hard time over his poor choice of words? Ok, now it was official. I was adopting him as my new grandpa.

"You think I wouldn't give everything to _see_ Mr. Cooper? Or a sunset, or anything at all?" the blind man said. I looked up at Sam who was already cracking up laughing just like me. They always talked about those priceless moments? This was being inaugurated as one of the best.

"Wanna give me a little help?" he said in a low voice to us. We both just shook our heads and continued laughing.

Just then a short man came into the room. Small guy? Midget man? Little people, big world? I really needed to look up some politically correct terms. Oh did I mention he was wearing a red cape? So cool. Anyway, he was holding something in his hand, like he was ready to fight. "Hey, man is there a problem?" he asked defensively.

Dean turned to look at him. "No, I don't…I..," he stumbled over his words _again_. "Nothing. It's just a little misunderstanding." Oh. My. Gosh. My day just got 934839 times better.

"LITTLE?! You son of a bitch!" the small…no. Tiny? No. The vertically challenged guy said.

Dean looked like he was about ready to flee with his tail between his legs; he was so scared. Of a midget. And a blind guy. This sounded like a punchline to a really bad joke. "No, no, no! I'm just…could somebody tell me where Mr. Cooper is? Please?"

Sam and I still couldn't hold back our laughter as the blind guy finally relented and told us we could find Mr. Cooper in a trailer not too far from here. We headed out of the tent, almost doubled over from laughing.

"Thanks for the help, ass holes," Dean said as he stormed off ahead of us. Sam and I just looked at each other and smiled. That was what he got for the whole Ash thing.

* * *

Dean rapped on the door and we were greeted by Mr. Cooper, who invited us inside. "You guys picked a hell of a time to join up. Take a seat," he said as he motioned towards the two seats in front of his desk. One was just your average chair. Normal. Standard run of the mill. But the _other_. Well it was pink and had a giant clown face growing out of the back of it. I think we all 3 noticed it at the same time, because we took off sprinting the 5 steps necessary to get to the ordinary chair.

Unfortunately Dean had been in front of me from the start, thus giving him an unfair advantage. Otherwise I would have crushed him. Anyway, Dean sat down and I then walked to the other side of the chair and stood beside him, leaving Sam staring at the clown chair, clearly pissed off.

"Well ladies first," Mr. Cooper said as he motioned for me to take a seat.

"Oh, that's okay. I got a…uh..bad knee," I replied. Smooth. The older guy just stared back at me, completely confused.

"Yeah, doc says she's gotta stand more," Dean replied without missing a beat. It was amazing how we could go from picking on one sibling to picking on another like it was nothing.

Mr. Cooper just nodded suspiciously as he went to sit in his own chair. "Well sit down boy. You're too tall to be looking up at." And he carried out the rest of our plan without even knowing it. Sam had his bitch face on as he slowly sat down on the very tip of the chair.

"So you three ever work the circuit before?" he asked.

"Yes sir, last year through Texas and Arkansas," Sam answered and Dean and I just nodded our heads in agreement.

"Doing what? Ride jockeys? Butcher? Clowns?" he asked. I couldn't help but notice as Sam fidgeted in his seat like a little kid.

"Yeah, just a little bit of everything, I guess," Sam replied.

"You guys have never worked a show before in your lives, have you?" he demanded. Well, he had us there. No bad lie got past him.

"Nope," I replied, making sure to pop the _p_. "But we could really use the work."

"You see that picture? That's my daddy," Mr. Cooper said as he pointed to a frame hanging on the wall. I was taken back by the striking resemblance they shared. "He was in the business too. Ran a freak show till they outlawed them. But you see, this place, it's a refuge for outcasts. Always has been. For folks that don't fit in nowhere else," he began. Um, he was pretty much describing our lives. Last time I checked we didn't exactly _fit in_ anywhere. "But you three? You should go to school. Find ya each a pretty spouse. Have 2.5 kids. Live _regular_."

That's interesting because last time I checked regular wasn't even in the Winchester vocabulary, as much as we all had tried to fight it.

Dean was about to say something, but Sam cut him off. "Sir? We don't want to go to school. And we don't want regular. We want _this_." I just assumed he was saying that stuff to get us the job, but the serious look on his face told a different story.

* * *

After Mr. Cooper finally agreed to give us the jobs, we headed out of his trailer and on our way to the next stop—getting 'uniforms'.

"Well that was enlightening," I said as I caught up beside Sam. Him and his gigantic strides! Dean was already well ahead of us, reading to get this job going.

"What?" Sam sounded offended.

"You know…what you said back there about not wanting to go back to school. That was just you working the job, right?" I asked. Not sure what I expected, or preferred the answer to be.

"I don't know," he answered softly.

"Really? I guess I always figured once we hunted down that fugly demon, you were gonna take off again back to college," I replied honestly. As much as I never wanted to go through losing Sam all over again, I knew deep down being a lawyer was what he had always wanted and who was I to keep people from their dreams.

"I'm having second thoughts." I could hear the pure sincerity in his voice. We shared a quick glance and I raised my eyebrows in surprise at his answer. "Yeah, I think I am. Dad would have wanted me to stick with the job, you know?" he explained.

I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell him that he and I had never really been high up on the dad-obedience chain, so why start now, but that Dad had always been proud of him. I wanted to tell him to just do what he wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to form an actual sentence. Talking about Dad out loud wasn't something I was ready for.

"You guys coming?" Dean barked impatiently from the door of the next trailer, labeled 'employees'. Lucky for me, he had interrupted our conversation.

* * *

By 'uniforms' they meant we got to wear red "Cooper Carnival" jackets and by 'job' they meant we got to go around and pick up trash. However, I planned to keep this jacket. It had hidden pockets inside for easy EMF reader hiding and it was super comfy. We all split up and took different parts of the carnival to go over. As much as I liked my alone time away from my two annoying older brothers, I actually _wanted_ to be around them. I wanted them there to pick on and poke fun at. They helped distract me from whatever inner turmoil was currently going on. I wasn't ready to deal with it, but it looked like I didn't have any other choice.

I glanced around at the people. There were kids running around laughing and smiling right and left. I looked straight ahead and saw 2 people standing beside the ticket booth, a man and a little blond, curly haired girl. Suddenly the guy picked up the little girl. She couldn't have been more than 5 years old. He flung her in the air and she squealed joyfully, "Daddy!" before he sat her up on his shoulders. "Let's go over there!" I overheard her say as she pointed ahead. I followed her gaze and saw she was pointing to the farris wheel not too far away.

"Sure thing, munchkin," the man replied as he reached up to grab ahold of both of her hands before he started heading in that direction.

And it was that one world. _Munchkin_. One word caused my entire body to be overwhelmed with emotion. That was what _my_ dad had used to call me when I was a little girl. I remembered he had even used it once back at the hospital when he first saw me after the accident. Hot tears stung my eyes as everything came flooding back. I would never hear his voice again. He would never get to call me _munchkin_. Not even once more. Heck, I'd even settle for an angry and pissed off 'Katelyn Elizabeth' if it meant I got to hear his voice again. But I knew that would never happen.

I quickly brushed away the tear that had escaped and looked around for a place to collect myself. Spotting a booth nearby, I dashed over to it and ducked down behind. I tried to steady my breathing. Winchesters didn't _cry_. Much less during a case. I had to pull it together. But I was too afraid to go back out there again. I knew there would be more fathers and daughters and families everywhere, just taunting and reminding me of what I'd never have again. It wasn't like we had ever been the carnival-going-happy-go-lucky-family, but we were a_ family_. But not anymore.

Suddenly I heard my phone go off, dragging me from my thoughts. I pulled it out and stared at the screen. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and took a deep breath before answering. "Yeah?"

"Where the hell you been? I've called like 3 times," Dean bellowed through the phone. Oh, you know, just having a mild melt down in the middle of the kiddie carnival. No big deal or anything. Besides, not like I ignored those calls on purpose. I just never heard them.

"Searching for EMF. What do you _think_ I'm doing?" I said back in a low voice, trying my best to keep it steady.

"Well meet us at the car. I think we found the evil clown's next victim," Dean replied before hanging up.

"Yeah sure," I said aloud to no one in particular as I closed the phone, knowing he had already hung up.

* * *

We were now chilling outside of the family's house. Some called it staking out. Others stalking. I preferred mindfully observing. It sounded much better. I had my headphones on listening to some head banging music. I had no idea what the name of the band was, but it was in that list of music I played when I wanted to drown out my thoughts and the world around me. It was doing the trick too. After a few hours of observing the house, I laid down in the back seat of the crap minivan and closed my eyes, figuring my brothers had this one under control.

I was semi-peacefully sleeping when I felt a sudden shove from Sam. I looked down at my ipod and realized it had died already. Story of my life. "Guys, look," he said as he pointed to the house. I sat up and squinted really hard to see a little girl walking across the kitchen to the back door. That wasn't normal for 2am. I looked a little harder. She looked familiar for some reason. Oh my gosh. It was the little girl from earlier! _Munchkin_ girl.

I instantly snatched my gun and followed Sam and Dean as we barged inside. I quickly went and grabbed on to the little girl, pulling her away from the creepy clown. I placed a protective hand over her head as I heard gun fire and the window shatter. I had to protect this poor girl.

"What's going on out here?" I heard a male voice. Seconds later the guy I had seen earlier carrying this little girl appeared in the doorway, followed by what I assumed to be his wife.

"Oh my god, what are you doing to my daughter!?" she screamed as she ran towards me. I gently let go of the girl and held my hands up, showing them I meant no harm. Then I hauled ass out of there right behind my brothers.

* * *

We successfully parked the van in a ditch in the middle of nowhere, thinking the family might have seen it. We grabbed our bags out of the soccer mom van as Dean stashed the plates.

"I hate this friggin thing," Dean said as he kicked the tire before we took off walking down the road. The brightside? We didn't have to keep a look out for cars hitting us. We were literally in no man's land.

"Well one things for sure. We aren't dealing with a spirit," Dean began as he looked over at the two of us before continuing. "I mean, that rock salt hit something solid."

"A person? Or maybe a creature that can make itself invisible?" I offered.

"Yeah, and dressed up as a clown for kicks? Talk about a whacked out sense of entertainment. You see anything in Dad's journal?" Dean asked. Sam shook his head no.

This little chit chat wasn't proving to be productive, so I pulled out my cell phone and started looking for a number. "Who are you calling?" Dean asked, obviously curious.

"Ash. I figure he might know something," I replied as I opened up my contacts.

"You have _his_ number?" Dean demanded.

"Yeah, I _am_ legal, you know," I said as I looked up at him and winked. He didn't have to know that I honestly didn't have Ash's number. I only had the Roadhouse one. And since Ash technically lived there it _could_ be considered his 'house' phone, thus in a sense making it his phone. See, I was right after all. I felt Dean's eyes narrow as frustration built behind them.

"Hey, you think Dad and Ellen ever had a thing?" Sam piped up, getting Dean off of my case.

I tore my gaze from my phone to him. "No way." I did _not_ like what he was insinuating one bit.

"Then why didn't he tell us about her?" Sam demanded. Dad always had his reasons, but I knew it wasn't _that_ reason. Dad wasn't like that. He just...he just couldn't be.

"I don't know. I'm sure they had some sort of falling out," Dean said, keeping his gaze firmly ahead.

"You ever notice Dad had a falling out with just about everybody?" Sam explained, almost accusingly. Neither of us replied. I, for one, was not going to sit here (well, walk here) and talk badly about my father. "Well don't get all maudlin on me, man," Sam said directly to Dean.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked nonchalantly. It was like he was just trying to avoid the topic he knew Sam was getting at. But I meant it in a more literal sense. I did not understand in the slightest what Sam had just said.

"I mean this 'strong silent' thing of yours. It's all crap," Sam began. I could feel Dean roll his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "This isn't just anyone we're talking about. This is Dad. I know how you felt about the man. I mean you and Kate were a lot closer to him than I was. You spent _way_ more time with him in the last 5 years."

"Sam, just let it go. We don't need to do this. Not here. Not now," I pleaded. When a Winchester wanted to talk about something, they would come out and do it, but forcing it was never a good idea.

"I don't care how either of you deal with this. But you _have_ to deal with it. I'm your brother, all right? I just want to make sure you're both okay," he finished as he looked from me to Dean.

Dean completely stopped and turned to face Sam. "I'm okay! I swear you ask me one more time, I'm going to start throwing punches. These are your issues, quit dumping them on us! We are fine," Dean yelled as he motioned between himself and me. I had tried to warn Sam not to do this, but he was too stubborn to listen. At least we could yell as loudly as we wanted out here.

"What are you talking about?" Sam said, clearly confused by Dean's remark.

"I just think it's interesting how you have this sudden obedience to Dad. All you think about it 'oh, what would Dad want me to do?' Sam, you spent your _entire_ life slugging it out with that man. And now that he's dead, you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry. You can't. It's too little. Too late," Dean yelled. I could see the painful and regretful look in Sam's eyes. Dean's comments not only sliced through him, but I felt it too. Way over the line.

I couldn't take any more of this yelling and arguing. What happened to making fun of midget clowns and stuff? "Imma call Ash," I muttered to no one in particular as I walked away from those two. I couldn't stand to hear anymore.

* * *

Apparently my speed walking had gained me a lot of ground on my brothers. After I hung up with Ash, I sat down under a tree off the side of the road and waited for them to catch up.

"Rakshasa," I said as I stood back up and walked along beside them once again.

"I don't have time for your stupid code language again," Dean asked, clearly not amused. He was referring to the time Sam and I took up speaking to him in Pig Latin. Oh, those were the classics. He had been so mad because he couldn't do it like we could.

"No dumb ass. It's Ellen's best guess. It's a race of ancient Hindu creatures that appear in human form and feed on human flesh," I explained.

"Well you are what you eat, I guess," Dean replied smirking.

"Yeah, well they can also make themselves invisible and have to be invited into a home," I finished.

"Guess we got our creature then," Sam said as he kept his gaze down at the pavement in front of him. "How do we find out who it is?"

"Apparently they sleep on a bed of dead insects," I said as I cringed a little. Why did it have to be bugs!

"Perfect case for you two. Clowns _and_ bugs. I vote Kate does the bed check," Dean joked as I met his smirky smile with a death glare. How dare he bring up such a thing! This was _Sammy's_ case to suffer through. I already had my turn last year.

"Only not," I replied sternly. "So who you think it is?" I asked, hoping they would have the answer.

"Who do we know that has worked the Carnival before, back in '81 too?" Dean asked aloud.

"Cooper," Sam replied. I felt slightly saddened that it had to be him. I liked him. He made Sam sit in the pink clown chair!

"And how do we kill it?" Dean asked.

Good thing they had me around or they would be lost on this one. "Legend goes, a dagger made of pure brass."

"Well before we go hacking at Cooper, let's make sure it's him," Sam said. Leave it to him to want to double check.

"Details, details, Sammy! Fine. I'll round up the blade, and you two freaks go check for bedbugs in Cooper's room," Dean said. I opened my mouth to protest, but quickly decided against it. At least Sam was going to be with me, which meant that technically I wouldn't have to do anything since he was normally a gentleman, well, kinda. So it worked out in my favor, even though Dean thought he was getting back at me.

* * *

That night we made our way back to the Carnival to take care of business. Sam and I went to Cooper's trailer. I quickly picked the lock and we quietly went inside, making sure the coast was clear.

I hung back by the door as Sam made his way over to the bed. He turned around and noticed I wasn't following. "Really?" I just shrugged my shoulders at him as he rolled his eyes. I breathed a sigh of relief when he turned back around and started slicing open the mattress with his pocket knife. At least he wasn't going to make me touch those bugs. See? A gentleman and a scholar.

Just then the door flew open and in came Cooper holding a shotgun. Sam immediately got up and I slowly started walking backwards towards him, feeling protected once I knew we were close together now. We both held our hands up in the air, showing we weren't here to hurt him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Cooper demanded.

"We, uh, were just looking to see what kind of mattress you had. You know, it looks so comfortable and all," I spilled out. Sometimes I wasn't even sure where these ideas came from.

"Get the hell out of my trailer. And stay away from my Carnival!" he yelled as Sam and I hurriedly made our way out of the trailer and went in search of Dean. We finally spotted him stumbling out of another trailer, clearly having the same bad luck as we were.

"Hey! So, Cooper thinks we're freaks, but it's not him," I explained.

"Yeah, so I gathered. It's the blind guy. He's here somewhere," Dean said as he glanced around into the darkness, trying to find the invisible guy. Not an easy task as some might think.

"You got the brass blades?" Sam asked.

"No, Sam. It's just been one of those days," Dean answered sarcastically.

"I got an idea. Come on," Sam replied as he took off towards the fun house with Dean and I trailing behind him.

We weren't very far inside the fun house when all of a sudden a door came slamming down, separating Dean and I from Sam.

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

"Sam!" he yelled back.

"Kate!" I yelled. Dean just gave me a 'what the hell' look. What? I felt left out of the whole name yelling thing. I wanted to let everyone know where I was too.

"Stay close," Dean commanded as he grabbed on to my arm and started pulling me in the direction he was going. Finally we entered a different part of the maze that was a little wider. And there was Sam! He was tugging at one of the brass pipes that had steam coming out of them.

"Where is it?" I asked him as we all gathered closely.

"I don't know! I mean, shouldn't we see its clothes walking around?" Sam asked. His logic had a very valid point. Oh gosh. If we couldn't _see_ his clothes wandering around…did that mean he had taken them off? I cringed at the thought. Gross, gross, gross! I inwardly hoped that he had on some magical clothes that just turned invisible with him. Just like Harry Potter's invisibility cloak.

All of a sudden a knife flew past me and slamed into the upper arm part of Dean's shirt, pinning him to the wall. Another one went by and pinned his other shirt wrist, not letting him move anymore.

"Guys!" Dean yelled, obviously freaking out. Being pinned to a wall by flying daggers would do that to anyone.

"Dean, where is it?" Sam asked as he was finally able to pull the pipe all the way off.

"I don't know!" he screamed back.

Just then I spotted a lever up in the corner of the ceiling. It had to be the steam lever. I stood on my tippy toes and tried to reach it, but failed. If only I were a giant like every other Winchester known to man! Two jumps later and I finally managed to pull the lever down and smoke came pouring out of the pipes, letting us see the outline of our invisible attacker.

"Sam, behind you!" I yelled. He instinctively threw the brass pipe behind him and realized it hit something. He turned around and twisted the pipe even further into the Clown Monster as his CLOTHES (hallelujah) fell to the ground and he vanished, leaving only a bloody pipe on top of his clothes on the floor.

"You did it," I said as I gave Sam a high five. He conquered his fear.

"A little help over here," Dean said as he unsuccessfully kept trying to pull his arms out to remove the knives. Sam and I shared a glance and without even saying a word, knew what the other was thinking. We made out way out of the funhouse, leaving Dean yelling a string of curse words at us.

"You think we should go back?" I asked Sam as we stood outside the entrance.

"I guess that's the _nice_ thing to do," Sam said. "But let's give him another minute." A devious smile spread across his face. Oh, payback was a bitch, Dean. And I was happy to be a part of it.

* * *

Monster killed? Check. Dean de-knived? Unfortunately check. Back at the Roadhouse? Check.

We were sitting at the bar and Ellen sat down beers in front of my brothers and a freaking root beer for me. _Root beer?_ I felt like I was 10 again.

"You guys did a hell of a job. Your dad would be proud," she said. I was still confused as to how she would know that about my father. She had failed to mention how she knew him, so how would she knew if he'd be proud or not! Something fishy was there and I wouldn't trust her until I knew the truth.

"Thanks," Sam responded as Jo came and sat down beside Dean. I saw her give Sam 'the stare'. You know, the one that told him to get lost because she wanted to be alone with my brother. Yeah, no thanks.

Apparently Sam picked up on her cue. "Oh yeah, um, I've gotta…uh, I've gotta go. Over there. Away from here. Right now," he stumbled out as he got up. I scooted up closer to the bar, attempting to make it clear I wasn't going to get up and took a long swig of my root beer, staring directly at Jo. I didn't cave as easy like Sam did. Didn't trust her mom and sure as _hell_ didn't trust her.

Dean let out an obviously fake cough, hinting at me to leave. I didn't even flinch. "Come on," Sam commanded as he grabbed on to my arm and pulled me up out of my seat. Damn his abnormal strength! Well, not to be outdone, I jerked out of his grasp and took a step closer to Dean. I sat my root beer bottle down in front of him and without missing a beat, picked up his beer bottle and took a swig as I walked away with Sam, but not without throwing Jo one last glare. I'd say I won that time.

Once Sam and I were across the room, out of ear shoot of the love birds, I smacked him in the arm. "Dude! You're encouraging _that?_!" I said in a low voice as I nodded towards them.

"Seriously? He's not going to get anywhere with Ellen around. What's the big deal anyway?" Sam asked. Okay, he did have a point. I glanced over and saw them being watched carefully by her mom.

"I don't know. She's just not…just not his type," I said. I really had no reasoning behind my dislike for her other than the fact she was clearly seducing him and consistently wore child sized shirts.

All of a sudden the backdoor flung open and out came Ash. That was my cue to get my flirt on. I made my way over to him along with Sam. "Where you guys been? Been waitin' for ya," Ash said.

"Well I've been waiting to see you too," I said as I sat down on the bar stool beside where he was standing. Suddenly Dean appeared by my side. And my plan worked. Him at _my_ side meant he wasn't at _hers_.

Ash opened his mouth to respond, but Dean cut him off. "You got something for us?" Ash laid down his laptop on the table; you could clearly tell it was homemade. This guy might actually be a genius.

"You find the demon?" Sam asked.

"It's nowhere around. At least nowhere I can find. But I can track the omens. If any of them appear, my rig'll go off like a fire alarm," Ash explained. That was good news for once. At least we now had someone who knew how to track that bastard.

"Ash, where did you learn all of this stuff?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"M.I.T.," he responded with a smug smile.

"M.I.T.?" Sam repeated, not able to believe it himself.

"Massachusetts Institute of Technology," I explained. Ash looked at me surprised.

"Señorita knows her stuff," he said staring at me a little too long. Dean immediately picked up on his lingering look.

"Well you'll call us if you know something?" Dean asked as he started making his way towards the door with Sam following behind him. Apparently our visit was abruptly coming to an end.

"Sí, sí, compadre," Ash answered before he picked up my beer and took a drink. He gave me a sly wink. I made sure to wink back before we all said our goodbyes and made our way outside.

* * *

We were back at Bobby's place now. Home Sweet Home, I guess. After we told Bobby about the case and everything, we each went our own way. Dean, obviously, went out to get back to work on the Impala. Sam disappeared who knew where and I just ended up in 'my room'.

I slid myself down along the wall and pulled my knees into my chest. I hadn't been able to get that picture of the little girl and her father out of my head. It kept replaying over and over. And then suddenly it would change to seeing my father die. Again and again. It was a never ending loop and I couldn't make it stop.

Suddenly I heard some shouting outside. I sat up slightly to look out the window. I saw Sam and Dean in each other's faces, arguing. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I didn't need to. I knew it was about Dad. We had all been on edge about it lately. I heard their voices abruptly stop and I glanced back out to see Sam storming off. And hen I stared in shock as Dean picked up a crowbar and smashed in the window of a car. Then he began slamming the crowbar into the trunk of the Impala.

That was when I hit a breaking point. I turned back around and pulled my knees in to my chest as tightly as I could and buried my head down in them. I jumped with each _crunch_ of the metal crumbling beneath his strength. The tears started to come down harder and harder. Everything I had been trying to hold in and shove away finally came to the surface. Sam had been right after all. We were far from okay.

I must not have heard Sam open the door because next thing I knew he was sitting down beside me and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his side. I had never been one to bawl in front of my brothers, but I couldn't stop even if I had the strength to try. I buried my head in his chest as he soothingly combed his hands through my hair without even saying a word. I felt like my entire body was shaking and I couldn't control it.

"I'm sssso ssstupid," I sputtered out.

"Don't say that. You're not stupid, Katie. We're all hurting," Sam said calmly as he continued to run his hands through my hair. It was what he and Dean had used to do when I was younger and really sick. It was a comforting feeling.

"Yesss, I am," I began as I sat up so I was now facing him. I immediately noticed his tear stained face too. I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady my voice before I started talking again. "That lllittle girl we saved? I ssaw her at the carnival before. And hher dad called her _mmunchkin_," I said as my voice continued to hiccup with tears. I saw Sam's face fall as he recognized the meaning that word had for me.

Now I couldn't hold any of it back. I just wanted to get everything out in the open that had been running through my head. "Aaannd I'm ssoo stupid. You know wwhat it made me tthink about? How ttthat little girl had a fffather. And she is going to gggrow up one day and get mmmarried and he's going to be ttthere to walk her down the aisle." Sam gave me a deeply sympathetic look. I was sure he didn't expect this. I wasn't even expecting it to come out of my mouth, but the words just kept pouring out.

I continued, "I've _never_ ttthought about a fucking wedding before. NEVER, Sam. But now iiits the ONLY thing I can ttthink about. That mmoment that is in aall the chick flick movies. The ttear in the dad's eye as hhe gives hher away cuz his little gggirl's all grown up. Dad'll _never_ see me grow up, Sam. And all of this, it's jjjust another thing that I'll nnnever get to have with him. It's not fair. We ddon't deserve this. Gosh, I'm just sso sstupid for even ttthinking about this." I couldn't stop the tears that were now freely flowing down my face.

"Kate…," Sam said gently. I looked directly into his eyes and saw the tears brim over. I just shook my head, silently telling him there wasn't anything he could he say to take the pain away. He opened his arm back up, inviting me in again. I rested my head against his chest as he held on to me tightly, giving me a quick kiss on top of my head. And we just saw there, no one moving. No one saying a word. And it was in that moment when I realized that emptiness I felt in the pit of my stomach was not going to go away. No matter how much I ate or didn't eat. No matter how much I cried or didn't. It was still there. I knew I would have to find a way to deal with it. Only thing was, it was like a black hole…and it was slowly sucking away everything I had left in me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow! You guys are amazing…your reviews and adding this story to your alerts blows me away every time. I'm sorry I have left you all hanging for so long. Thank you for sticking with me!**

**I didn't get very far into the episode in this chapter and it's not too riveting, but I wanted to get something out there for you guys. So hang in there because I have a few ideas up my sleeve that will come out over the next few chapters :)**

**Special thanks to ispiltthemilk for her help. I don't know what I'd do without her! You all should totally check out her sisfic story. Definitely worth it. **

**As always, I hope you all enjoy! Don't forget to drop me a line and let me know what you thought.**

* * *

A few days had passed since my mental and emotional breakdown with Sam. Luckily he didn't think I had finally popped my lid and gone psychotic, even though that was how I felt. All these awful feelings were just a lot to process through and I was still having a hard time getting over losing my dad. Sam would occasionally check in on me when we were alone to see how I was doing, and I continued to lie every time. I had already dumped enough on him and I didn't need to burden him more with my issues, so I was determined to muddle through on my own and find a way to deal with the emptiness and void left inside me. And the bright side to it all was Sam agreed to keep everything between the two of us. The last thing I needed was Dean to find out; I mean I really never kept anything from him, but this was different. I just felt…embarrassed, as silly as that sounded. He had always been so strong around us and I didn't want him to know I was weak.

I had spent these last few days doing pretty much nothing, which was something we Winchesters had a hard time coping with. We were used to being busy and on the go 24/7. I guess that would explain why Bobby, Dean, and I really got into this one show, _Dr. Sexy_. And just so you know, the show really lived up to the name. That and there was nothing better to do. Sam was all 'I'm better than that' and decided to go _read_ or some other nerdy thing while we all tuned in to this week's latest scandal between the sexy-cardio-neuro-kidney-I-don't-know-what-else doctor, his boring wife, and his terminally-ill-patient-cured-by-the-doc-then-turne d-secret-lover. It was intense.

Finally Tuesday morning rolls around and I decided to grace the kitchen with my presence, since I'd been pretty scarce around these parts lately. My appetite had kind of died out this last week and I found myself not eating that much anymore, which was weird because normally I was like a bottomless pit; however it felt like more of a chore than anything these days and I was never really up to it. But today I just needed to force it down, basically because Sam was eyeing me over from his spot at the table. So here I was, hovering over the damn toaster, trying to peer pressure it into lightly toasting my pop tarts faster. Why did waiting for it to pop out always seem like an eternity?

"Get your bags packed. It's time to get this crazy show back on the road!" Dean yelled joyfully as he came slamming through the front door and into the kitchen. I tore my gaze from the incompliant toaster to my brother.

"What? Why?" Sam asked as he sat his coffee and the newspaper back down. Wow, could he be any more _normal_.

"Yeah, now's not a good time. I'm kinda in the middle of something," I said as I turned back around to yet again try to persuade the toaster to do its job more efficiently.

"Oh, sure, real busy. Try not to pull anything," Dean retorted. I knew he couldn't see me, but I stuck my tongue out anyway. "In more important news, I got my baby all fixed up and it's time to get her back out there where she belongs," Dean explained.

"That's actually good timing," Sam began. "Cuz I found us a case over in Montana. Couple of severed heads and one too many cattle mutilations. I think it's worth checking out."

"Best idea I've heard all week," I said as I turned back around to face them. I really needed to get out of this house. It was like cabin fever was settling in. We needed to get back out there and try to get back to our normal.

"Nice work, Sammy. Well then, I'm leaving in an hour whether you are there or not, so you better get moving. I know how long it takes you both to primp and shit," Dean said smirking as he took off through the living room. Just so we are on the same page, when Dean threatens to leave you behind if you're late, he's actually serious. Trust me. I speak from experience. Twice. Ok, I lied. There was that whole taco incident and the square dancing mishap and the freak dog chasing fiasco. So, thrice. Yup. I'd been ditched three times. Oh, and while we are clearing things up, I do not take that long to get ready. _Sam_ does, so I hereby officially take offense to Dean's comment.

"Come on, Kate," Sam said as he got and paused for a moment, waiting on me to go with him. I turned back to the stubborn toaster and it was STILL toasting. I let out an audible grunt in frustration when suddenly I heard _bing!_ and the pop tarts came shooting up. This stupid thing was mocking me. That little bitch.

* * *

We said our goodbyes to Bobby and hit the road. The windows were down, music up, and wind blowing through my hair, which I despised. I hated hair blowing around in my face because no matter how hard I tried, it would always get stuck in my mouth or over my eyes or something ridiculous. I didn't get how Sam wasn't having the same issue, I mean, his hair was getting out of control these days.

"Hey, can we shut the windows?" I yelled over the radio up at my brothers in the front seat.

"Hell no! I wanna listen to her purr! Have you ever heard anything so sweet?" Dean said, giddy as a 5 year old. I had to admit, it was nice to see him in such a good mood for once because normally he was Captain Grumpy.

"You know, if you two want to get a room, just let me know, Dean," Sam joked, looking over at him. I swear. If it came down to Dean saving me and Sam or the damn car, I wouldn't put your money on us.

"Oh, don't listen to him, baby. He doesn't understand us," Dean said lovingly as he caressed the dashboard. Not even joking. _Caressed_ the dashboard.

"Well aren't you just a regular ball of sunshine now," I interjected as I scooted up so my arms were resting on the seat in between them. One of the many benefits of never being forced to buckle up.

"And why shouldn't I be? Got my car, got a case. Things are looking up," he explained, again with that stupid childish grin. As much as I didn't want to admit it, his happiness was kind of catchy. "How far to Red Lodge?" he asked.

"Uh, about another 300 miles," Sam replied. I never knew how he did it. He just always seemed to know how much further we had to go. It wasn't like we had passed a sign out here on these back roads telling us how far out we were and he didn't have a map nearby. Sam had to have some kind of Map Quest built in his brain. There was just no other explanation.

"Good," Dean smirked as he floored it. I felt myself jerk back a little from the sudden acceleration as we went launching even faster down the road. This couldn't be good on the car if you asked me, but what did I know.

* * *

We arrived at Red Lodge and instantly found ourselves the only motel in town. After getting changed into our 'work clothes' (I was totally rocking the pants suit, fyi), we made our way down to the police station to get the ball rolling on this case.

A nice, chubby, older sheriff with a little too much gray mustache invited us into his office so we could interview him for an 'article' we were working on. Sam and I both took a seat, leaving Dean to stand behind us.

"The murder investigation is ongoing and that's all I can share with the press at this time," he explained to us. Well if that were really the truth, he should have just told us that before he invited us in.

"Sure, sure, we understand that, but just for the record, you found the first…uh…head last week, correct?" Sam asked. He was all about double-checking the facts.

"Mm-hmm," the Sheriff replied; apparently he was too out of shape to even form complete sentences.

"Okay, and the other, Christina Flannigan…," Sam began.

"That was two days ago," he answered as he looked down at his watch. "Oh, but you know what, I'm sorry guys. Time's up. I gotta go, so we're done here," he said as he started to stand up. Rude. I bet he didn't even really _have_ to go. Talk about oldest trick in the book.

"But one last question-," Dean interjected quickly and the Sheriff sat back down.

"Yeah, what about the cows?" I asked. After receiving a very confused and annoyed look from him, I went on to explain, "You know, over a dozen cows found dead, split open, drained, the works."

"What about them?" he asked. Well this conversation just wasn't going out way. Why was he making it so hard to get information out of him. Didn't he understand that we were here to _help_?

"So you don't think there's a connection?" Sam asked, hoping to pry some facts out of him we didn't already know.

"Connection with…?" This Sheriff was genuinely confused.

"First cattle mutilations and now two murders? Kinda sounds like ritual stuff, you know, like satanic cult ritual stuff," I offered.

He just stared at us, searching each of our faces for any sign that this was a joke when suddenly he burst out laughing. "You're kidding," he said, but once he realized that none of our expressions changed to signify it was a joke, his face dropped. "Oh, you're not kidding." He paused. "You know how I know these cows aren't being mutilated?" All three of us shook our heads. "Because there's no such thing. Cow drops, leave it in the sun and within 48 hours the bloat will split open so clean, it's just about _surgical_. Then the bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that's what _gravity_ does. But hey it _could_ be Satan. What newspaper did you say you work for?" If this guy weren't making fun of our investigation, I would definitely strike up a conversation with him. I needed more sarcasm like that in my life.

"Uh, World Weekly News," Dean spat out.

"Worldly Wide News?" I said not very confidently, looking up at Dean. I was positive Sam had told us the newspaper name before, but it didn't really seem that important at the time. So we were just throwing stuff out there.

"Weekly World News," Sam corrected. Know it all.

"World…," Dean began before Sam cut him off again.

"Weekly World…," he said.

"We're new," I said as I motioned between Dean and myself. Needless to say the Sheriff's suspicions about our credibility just grew three fold.

"Get out of my office!" he declared angrily as the three of us hurriedly got up and scrambled our way out to the car.

* * *

Well police station was a bust, in case you didn't catch on to that. And I was really hoping we could get all our information there because I knew what our next stop would be if we didn't—_The Morgue_. I didn't care who you were, a freaking ice cold morgue filled with dead bodies would give _anyone_ the heebie-jeebies.

And there it was. The Morgue. Ugh. We walked inside and made our way passed a few nobodies as we went down to the basement to search of the dead bodies. We managed to snake some lab coats in the process too. They really shouldn't leave those things lying around. Anyone could just take them.

We marched through the doors and saw some tech guy sitting at a small desk. Dean must had spotted his nametag, _J. Manners_. "John," he name guessed as he walked closer, with Sam and I trailing behind. I instantly stopped in my tracks and tensed up at the mention of Dad's name. That came out of nowhere. Why would Dean just throw Dad's name out there like it was nothing? Sam noticed my sudden hesitation and offered me a small, encouraging smile and placed a comforting hand on my back as we took a few more steps towards Dean.

"It's Jeff," the tech corrected. That's right. He wasn't good enough to be a John.

"Jeff. I know that. Dr. Dworkin needs to see you in his office right away," Dean explained.

"But Dr. Dworkin's on vacation." _Jeff_ was clearly confused.

"Well he's back, pissed off, and screaming for you, man. So if I were you I would…," Dean said as the tech got up and scurried away at lightening speed. I was always so amazed at how good he could just lie on the go. It was so effortless for him.

With the body guard (pun intended) gone, we made our way into the actual morgue in search for the girl's body. "Those Satanists in Florida marked their victims, didn't they?" Dean asked. Leave it to him to forget the details.

"Yeah, reversed pentacle on the forehead," I explained as Sam continued looking for the girl's body.

"So much f-ed up crap happens in Florida," Dean joked.

"I know. Which is why I'm sure there's a lot of evil to hunt down there," I offered. Let's be honest. I think after growing up and living in the Midwest my entire life, I deserved to go hunt some windego or shapshifter on a nice, sunny, beach underneath a palm tree with a piña colada in hand along the tip of southern Florida. And I bet I could convince Dean to take us once I explained to him what went on there during 'Spring Break'.

"Guys, over here," Sam announced, ruining my would-be life changing vacation conversation with Dean. Sam pulled out a plastic container and sat it on the table and threw some latex gloves to us. Gross. Her _head_ was in that container.

"What are you waiting for? Open it," I said as I nudged Sam.

"You open it," he countered.

Dean sighed as he turned the box so it was now facing him. "Wusses," he insulted as he tossed off the lid and grimaced. See, that was why I wasn't game for that. If Dean is grossed out by it, there's no way in the world I would make it.

"Poor girl," I said as I slowly took a few steps backwards, not wanting to make eye contact with the head. Sam reached out and grabbed on to my arm to pull me back up beside them, basically saying if he had to be there, so did I. And I thought he was a gentleman.

"Well, no pentagram," Dean explained. Great, that just made the case more complicated. "Maybe we should…you know…look in her mouth. See if those wackos stuffed anything down her throat. You know, kinda like Moth in Silence of the Lambs."

First off, I had never seen that movie so the reference was lost on me. And second, seriously, what kind of freak shoves things down people's throats when they kill them? Yuuuuuck. "Yeah, go ahead then, Dean," I encouraged. Personal cheerleader right here.

"No, you go ahead," Dean said as he turned the box towards me. I immediately gave it a _slight_ shove so it would get passed on to Sam because there was no way I was doing it. But as it turned out, my shove wasn't so slight and the box almost fell off the table. Talk about a major issue. Luckily Sam had cat like reflexes and caught it before it headed (yup, pun intended) off the table. Dean and Sam both shot me evil glares as I innocently shrugged my shoulders.

"Right, and I'm the wuss, huh? Whatever," Sam retorted as he took his fingers and began poking around in the mouth. "Kate, get me a bucket," he asked as his face scrunched up in disgust.

"You find something?" Dean asked.

"No, I'm going to puke," he stated. Well that was my cue to back away. I took a few steps back and made my way around so that I was now on the other side of Dean, who instantly walked closer to Sam and the head.

"Wait, lift that lip up again," he commanded. Sam threw him the infamous bitch face. Who could blame him. Dean rolled his eyes as he shoved Sam aside so he could pull up the lip. "Is that a hole?"

Well, now we were getting somewhere. I took a few steps closer, so it looked like I was all in on this head investigation. "Is that a tooth?" Sam asked.

"Sam, that's a _fang_. Retractable set of vampire fangs. You've got to be kidding me." Dean was in just as much shock as we were. Woah.

"Well that changes things," I interjected sarcastically.

"Ya think?" Dean threw back at me. Well if she was a vampire and someone cut her head off, either that person was just a wacked out murderer or knew what they were doing. This added a little spice to the case after all.

* * *

Well we knew what we were hunting and now we just had to _find_ it. And given the fact that it was a vampire, there was no better place to check than a bar. So after throwing on some ordinary clothes, we rolled into the local bar. It was smokey, smelly, and full of people. Sounds about right for a town of 2,000 people. The three of us made our way up to the bar and I took a seat on one of the revolving chairs.

"How's it going?" Dean asked the bartender.

"Living the dream. What can I get for you?" he asked. I started to twist back and forth in the chair. I think it's impossible to sit in one and _not_ do it. I challenge you.

"Two beers, please," Dean replied. I swiveled my way around to him, kicking him in the back of the leg in the process, slightly on purpose. My expression spoke louder than words. Talk about rude. Since when did I get voted out of drinking. Dean returned my evil expression with his own version of one, which clearly said 'knock it off'. I think that between the three of us, we could have an entire day long conversation with just facial expressions. Growing up with each other and spending so much time together allowed us the pleasure, more like torture, of getting to know each other's every mood.

"So we're looking for some people," Sam piped up on the other side of Dean.

"Sure. One girl, two guys. Doesn't seem like a good ratio," the bartender said as he nodded towards me. Dean instantly took a protective step closer. Did this freak just call _me_ a _prostitute_? Did he not care to notice that I wasn't dressed like a slut? Body = fully covered. Gross. Gross. Gross. That was it. This guy was dead. I started to get up, but Dean quickly placed a hand on my shoulder and shoved me back down in the seat. I gave him a seething look, but he just mouthed 'calm down.' I crossed my arms and swiveled myself away, facing the opposite wall so I didn't have to make eye contact with the bartender again.

"What?! Uh, no. That's not what I meant. She's our _sister_," Sam explained, slightly offended and grossed out just the same. Good. You tell that ass hole bartender, Sam.

"Oh my bad," the bartender responded nonchalantly as he shrugged his shoulders and opened up the 2 beer bottles. Clearly he was feeling remorseful.

"I meant…we are looking for some _specific_ people," Sam began again as I heard him pull out some cash.

I zoned out on the rest of their conversation and just began to look around the room, checking out all the people here. There were the flannel wearing country folk, slutty girls, old creepy guys, the works. Small town bars were the same all over. But I glanced over to a table by the far window and saw this black guy look at Sam and Dean out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly he put his half smoked cigarette in the ashtray and left his almost full beer before making his way to the door. Well talk about suspicious. I swiveled my way back to Dean and was about to share that with him, but he cut me off before I got a chance.

"Come on," Dean said as he pulled me off of the chair and we left the bar.

Once we were outside, we started walking down the alley towards the back parking lot. "Dean!" I said in a low voice. He slowed down his pace and turned to me, waiting for me to continue. "I think it's cold out," I explained.

He just shrugged his shoulders and continued walking. "Not my fault and I'm most definitely not giving you my jacket cuz last time you about spilled...-."

I cut him off as I pulled on his arm and spun him around so he was facing me. "I said I think it's _cold_ out tonight." Gosh. What's the point of making up a secret code word for 'hey, I'm pretty sure there is someone following us' if he wasn't even going to remember it. All of a sudden Sam and Dean's facial expressions changed as the light bulb went off in their big heads. Finally they caught on to what I was trying to say. Sam took a few steps closer to me as we continued to walk on through the maze of backstreets. I assumed Dean had some kind of plan because that was just kind of his job.

Suddenly, we dodged behind a corner and Dean motioned for Sam and I to get up against the wall. It was like he didn't think we knew how to be sneaky and hide. Anyway, Sam and Dean suddenly moved back around the corner and pinned a guy up against the wall. "This him?" Dean turned to me.

I walked up closer to them. "Yeah, that's him," I said taking a good look at this guy. He was out to get us and that was so not okay. I hereby sentenced him to suffer the wrath of the Winchesters.

"Smile and show us those pearly whites," Dean said as he held the knife up to his throat.

"Oh for the love of—you want to stick that thing some place else? I'm not a vampire," mystery creep man said. Well that was an unusual response I wasn't expecting. "Yeah, that's right. I heard you guys in there," he explained, cocky. Oh so what, you overheard my brother's talking. He was acting like it was a big deal. They weren't exactly whispering.

"What do you know about vampires?" I asked as I stood between Sam and Dean who were still holding on to him tightly.

"How to kill them," he responded directly at me. This guy gave me the creeps. There was just something off about him. Call it a woman instinct or whatever. "Now seriously, bro. That knife's making me itch." He glanced down at the knife Dean was seconds away from jamming into his neck.

Stalker guy made a sudden jerking movement to get free, but he was no match for my oversized brother and Sam threw him even harder against the wall. "Woah, easy there, chachi," he said as he slowly raised his right hand up to his mouth and pulled up his lip. Turned out he was telling the truth and he wasn't a vampire.

Dean and I shared a confused look. "Well then who the hell are you?" I spat at him. This case just kept throwing us curveballs.

* * *

Turned out his name was Gordon Walker and he just so happened to be fellow hunter. Wasn't that convenient. And even so, I still did not trust him. I blamed my trust issues on my upbringing. I had been hurt and betrayed by one too many 'friends' when I was a kid that there came a certain point where the only people I trusted were Sam and Dean. And Gordon was far from being like my brothers. First for the obvious appearance issues. And his height. And the fact he was more of a douche than they were.

Gordon led us over to his car and pulled out his 'board of weapons' that slid out from behind the front seats. He claimed it was to prove to us he was a hunter, but to me it seemed more like he was showing off his stuff. Please, the hidden compartment stashed with all kinds of weapon goodies in the Impala trunk could take on this wimpy ass wall of knives and guns any day.

"Sam. Dean. And even little Kate. All the Winchesters. I can't believe it," he began. What was it with people and their need to point out that I was little. I mean I wasn't short by normal standards at all, but by Winchester ones, yes. Anyway, talk about rude. "You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter," he finished. We all fell into a small silence as I looked up at Gordon.

"Yeah, he was," I stated sincerely. I knew we were all thinking it.

"I heard he passed. I'm sorry. It's big shoes to fill, but from what I hear you guys do a good job. Great trackers, good in a tight spot-," Gordon went on, but was cut off by Dean. I wished he had let him continue. Not like every day we get to hear how purely _awesome _we were, even though it was pretty obvious.

"You seem to know a lot about our family," Dean jabbed at him.

"Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk," Gordon explained, as if it was common knowledge.

"No, actually we don't. What is there a Secret Society of Hunters we haven't heard of?" I replied sarcastically. Were we the only ones who had been left out of the "Hunters Almighty" club? First Ellen and Jo and now Gordon, all claiming that hunters were some tight knit group. I could count the number of hunters I knew. Let's see. Bobby. Pastor Jim, may he rest in peace. Bam. List over.

"Well I guess there's a lot your old man never told you, huh?" Gordon replied. I did not like the fact that he was insinuating that our father kept secrets from us. Obviously he did. _That's_ no secret. He was John Winchester after all, but when someone else pointed it out to you, it was like a hit below the belt to the baby maker.

There was an awkward silence. I honestly had nothing else to say to this guy. He was already pissing me off too much and judging by the look on Sam's face, he was over him too.

"So those two vampires, they were yours, huh?" Dean asked, breaking the silence and getting this conversation back on track.

"Yup. Been here two weeks. That Barker farm the bartender told you about? It's a bust. Just a bunch of hippie freaks," Gordon explained. Well that just saved us a trip.

"Where's the nest then?" Dean pried.

"I've got this one covered. Look, don't get me wrong. It's a real pleasure meeting you three, but I've been on this thing over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin and tracked the nest all the way up here. I'll finish it." Gordon was getting defensive. Clearly he didn't want us working with him and I, for one, was okay with that.

"We could help," Dean practically pleaded. Did he miss the memo about we shouldn't trust freaks who lurk around stalking us in the middle of the night?

"Thanks, but uh, I'm more of a do-it alone type of guy," Gordon explained as he shoved his "wall of shame" back into the car.

"Come on, man. I've been itching for a hunt," Dean begged and it was true. We all had wanted to get out of Bobby's house and get back to 'normal', but it just didn't seem like a good idea right now.

"Let him finish it up, Dean. We'll track down another case," I said as I pulled on his arm. There was enough evil in the world that we shouldn't have to share a case.

"Yeah, she's right. Hey, I hear there's a Chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out," Gordon threw out there as he got into his car and closed the door. _Chupacabra_? I was pretty sure that was Spanish for _Goat Sucker_ and didn't seem appealing to me. "It was real good meeting you, though. I'll buy you a drink on the flip side," he finished as he started up the car and took off before any of us had a chance to reply.

"Well he seems like a real winner," I said as he turned the corner up ahead and disappeared.

"I say we investigate this case too. Something just seems off about him," Sam threw in.

"Yeah, no shit!" I exclaimed, looking up at Sam. Glad to know I wasn't the only one with suspicions.

"You guys always look for the bad in people," Dean stated sarcastically as he turned around towards us and started taking off towards the parking lot where we had left the Impala.

"That's because I couldn't find an ounce of good in that guy," I said. And it was true.

"Well he's a hunter just like us," Dean said. It was almost like I had offended _him_.

* * *

As it turns out, Dean eventually gave in and agreed with Sam and me that we should follow Gordon, just to double check that he really did have this case under control. We followed him and ended up outside some old looking mill where we watched him head inside.

"Wait here," Dean instructed without even a second glance back at me as he got out of the car.

"How about not." I started to open my door, but his oversized hand connected with it first and slammed it back shut.

"We are just going to go give this a once over and be right back. So stop making a whole drama out of it," he said through the driver's window that was still rolled down. He motioned for Sam to follow him and with that, they took off to investigate Weirdo Gordon while I was forced to just wait.

It was like Dean didn't know me because leaving me to wait was actually gonna end up doing _him_ more harm than good. I was struck with another genius idea and crawled my way over into the front seat. Let's see…where to start. Windshield wipers, on. Radio cranked up, check. Tuned to a random ass station, double check. Heat on full blast, why not. And for good measure I added the emergency break.

Feeling very accomplished and proud of my work, I sat back in the driver's eat and began banging my hands on the steering wheel, full on rock out position when all of a sudden I heard the buzzing sound of what I could only assume was something like an electric saw, given we were at a _saw_ mill. Well, that was never a good sign no matter how you spun it. I opened the door and took off running towards the mill. I came around a corner and practically almost ran into Sam. He steadied me before I went falling down and both of our gazes went straight ahead to Dean, just as he was pulling the electric saw down to decapitate what I assumed to be vampire. Dean then pulled the saw up and the look on his face was unmistakable. It was covered in blood splattered from the guy and the expression in his eyes was unexplainable. It was rage. And hurt. And pain. It was ragurtain, as it shall now be referred to. Sam and I just stood there, completely horrified and unable to move. I had never seen such a look before and I was shocked to think that Dean, the guy who had always been my rock, was so _not_ okay.

"Guess I gotta buy you that drink," Gordon said as he smiled approvingly at Dean's work. Gordon announced that he'd meet us back at the bar he originally tried to attack us for a drink. Ironic, wasn't it? Anyway, the three of us made our way back to the Impala in silence, each lost in our own thoughts and avoiding the topic that I knew was on everyone's mind.

We climbed into the car and Dean started it up. The wipers, heat, and music all clicked on at once. I had almost forgotten about that. I was too good.

"Damnit, Kate!" Dean yelled and I said mockingly at the same time. I knew him too well. Sam burst out laughing as Dean clicked off everything and turned around to give me a scolding look. I just shrugged my shoulders. He should had seen it coming anyway. "How many times do I have to tell you to not mess with my car!" Huh, I guess I pushed his buttons.

"Well serves you right for leaving me in the car," I countered.

"We were only gone for like 5 minutes! Seriously. You can't sit still for _five_ minutes?" Dean yelled, completely annoyed as he started up the car. When he realized he emergency break was on, he grunted in frustration before taking it off and turning out of the parking lot.

"Oh, look who's talking Mr. I-always-have-to-be-doing-something-or-I-might-sel f-implode," I spat. It was true. Dean was most definitely a busy body.

"You act like you're 12!" Dean glared at me in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, because all the pranks _you've _done have been 'so mature'," I threw back at him.

"Guys!" Sam yelled, interrupting our argument. "Just knock it off." Since when did Sam intervene? But he was right. This was a stupid fight and quite frankly had no real point to it. A (semi) innocent prank was too much to handle for Dean apparently. I think he was still on edge after what had just happened mixed in with his ragurtain feelings too. I guess it's best not to poke the bear while he's angry.

I scooted up against the side window and stared outside, spotting our motel sign up ahead.

"You know what, just drop me off at the hotel," I stated. First I didn't want to spend any more time with this Gordon freak. And second, I was sure Dean and I would be down each other's throats again in no time, so what was the point.

"Fine by me," Dean said as he turned sharply into the motel. Well that was a lot easier than expected. He stopped in front of our room. "Oh, and since you can't seem to sit still, why don't you use your time wisely and do the laundry," Dean threw back at me as I was getting out of the car.

I leaned up against his rolled down window. "No way, it's _Sam's_ turn, not mine," I argued. How was that even fair!

"Yeah, well _Sam_ didn't mess with my car. So happy washing," he spat out as he took off quickly, almost running over my foot, I might add. Wow, how did I get blessed with two of the kindest, most thoughtful and genuine brothers in the world? Oh right, I didn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! Okay, so I'm sorry for going MIA for so long, but so much has happened. The largest reason this update has been so delayed is because the nerves in my wrist decided to protest and the doctor made me scale back the time I spent on the computer. So many apologies to you all! My wrist is on the mend still, so updated might still be slow, but I will try ssoo hard so not make you guys go so long without one. **

**Thank you so much for sticking with me though...you guys are amazing and I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for you!**

**Shout out to ispiltthemilk for letting me run some things by her and just being overall awesome. Check out her stories!  
Speaking of awesomeness, check out sweetkiwi604's new story called Sisterhood of the Traveling Hunters! Kate, along with 3 other Winchester sister characters star in it :)**

**Last but not least, this chapter is dedicated to Hattiekatt! Her encouragement and support are just amazing and have helped keep me motivated :) Thank you!**

**Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you liked/didn't like, thoughts, comments, anything and everything. Enjoy!**

* * *

Okay, let's see…where did I leave off? Oh yeah, I had been dumped off at the motel while my brothers went off to celebrate the vamp beheading at the bar. I slammed the door behind me as I went into our room. Groaning, I went over and picked up Dean and Sams' duffels, along with my own and made my way back to the door. I looked from the closed door to my hands full of bags. Curse my need for a dramatic entrance. After somehow managing to get the door opened, closed again, and balancing 3 bags with no grace whatsoever, I strode down the hall to the door conveniently labeled _Laundry_.

As water began to pour into the machine, I opened up their bags and dumped the clothes into the machine, throwing my own in too. This wasn't even fair. I did one small prank on Dean and he went all ape shit. Geesh, we were all still off balance from Dad's death, there was no denying that.

I shook Sam's bag as the last sock fell into the machine. I tossed in some soap and my best friend, _Color Catchers_. You know them? They are my magical buddies that I can throw in with any colored clothes and the blacks don't bleed on the whites. Never heard of them? Huh, just me then, I guess. Separating darks and all that jazz is so 2 years ago. Which ironically was when I accidentally turned everyone's white shirts pink. Talk about a life changing moment.

Okay, okay. I'm getting off track again. Back to focusing my attention on my current anger at Dean who was with...Gordon. Oh Gordon. There was something off about him and I needed to get to the bottom of it. And there was only one person I could think of that might be able to help. And even though I had just met her, I knew she was my highway straight into Hunter Infolandia. So I pulled out my cell phone and called the Roadhouse, praying that Ellen would answer and not my arch nemesis Jo…oh that bit-

"Harvelle's Roadhouse," came the voice on the other end of the line, distracting me from my own thoughts. I let out a sign of relief when I recognized the voice to be Ellen's. The pagan gods were on my side. I'd have to remember to offer them up a thank you. Jo would make a good sacrifice I bet…nah she's so annoying they'd probably just get pissed off at me and then—woah, focus, Kate. Apologies.

"Hey Ellen, it's Kate Winchester," I reminded her incase she had forgotten to recognize me by how purely amazing and unforgettable my voice was.

"Kate, it's good to hear from you. You guys are okay, aren't you?" she asked. I could tell there was actual, genuine concern in her voice. That was something new. Most people didn't give a crap about us.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is all good in our hood," I assured her as she let out a small chuckle.

"Well what can I do for ya?"

"Since you asked… I have a question for you. You ever run across a guy named Gordon Walker?" Silly question, I know. Of course she had information. She was practically the editor of the _Hunter's Quarterly_ newsletter.

"Yeah, I know Gordon," she confirmed.

"And?" I pied. Clearly I was calling for a _reason_.

"He's a real good hunter, but why are you asking, sweetie?" Did she just call me _sweetie_? I was pretty sure the last time someone had called me that had been sophomore year and I nearly took out the boy because I was not _that_ kind of girl, you know. But for some reason coming from her it made me smile. Maybe I had misjudged her from the start. She was proving to be nice and caring, in a way.

"Well, we ran into him on a job. And Dean has it stuck in his head that we should work with him, I guess."

"Don't do that, Kate," Ellen replied sternly, suddenly going from her happy go lucky personality to deathly serious.

"But you just said he was a good hunter?" I countered. First she said one thing and now it was another. Make up your mind!

"Yeah, but listen to me. He is dangerous to everyone and everything around him. If he says he's working a job, you guys just let him handle it and get out of town as fast as you can," she explained, showing obvious concern for our safety.

"Ellen-," I began. I wanted her to explain exactly _why_ he was a danger. I already knew that, but from the way she talked she had actual facts to back her opinion up, other than the 'he just gives me creeps' reasoning I had.

"No, Kate. You just listen to what I'm telling you, okay?" Judging by the tone in her voice, I needed to _trust_ her on this one, which was hard for me to do, but since she was backing up my inner tuition, I agreed and we said our goodbyes. Well at least my paranoia and untrusting tendencies were actually justified this time.

Well now with the clothes in the wash and my Gordon investigation complete, all that was left to do was wait. And if the toaster incident wasn't clue enough, I'll just spell it out for you…I HATED waiting. Not like we had been in this town long enough for me to get a book from the library, my ipod was conveniently sitting on the backseat of the Impala, and the TV in the laundry room was broken. I saw three plastic chairs sitting in a row along the nearby wall. I shuffled over and laid myself down, closing my eyes and basking in relaxation.

My phone vibrating ripped me back to reality. "Yeah?" I answered without even looking at the caller id. Why even bother.

"Kate?" Sam asked.

"The one and only," I replied. I wasn't really sure who else he expected it to be. "What's up?"

"I just left the bar," he started to explain.

"Oh? You guys are coming back so soon?" It was hard to hide my disappointment. I wasn't ready to deal with Dean yet.

"No, just me. Dean's staying to hang with his new best friend," Sam explained, disgust and sarcasm dripping off of every word.

"Then why you leaving?" Normally they would just stick together.

"He called me Sammy."

"You got upset over that? You know you can't get Dean to change," I said as I sat up in the chair, realizing my peace was ruined now.

"Not Dean. _Gordon_," Sam seethed. That little creepy bitch crossed a line. First he called me _little Katie_ and now he moved on to Sam. Oh no you don't. "That and he's an ass," he added for good measure.

"You're preaching to the choir, Sam. I called Ellen and she pretty much confirmed our suspicions about the freak," I began before I went into retelling the whole phone conversation I'd had earlier and we both agreed that we'd somehow have to convince Dean to pack up with us and get the hell outta dodge before something went wrong.

"Well, I'm heading back now. Dean gave me the Impala," Sam explained. Jealousy instantly sprang inside of me. If _I_ ever wanted the Impala, I had to get it the old fashioned way. Stealing the keys behind Dean's back. Sigh. "You want me to pick you up something for dinner on my way back?"

I cringed as I heard the question. I knew he was just being a nice person and all, but he had _no_ idea how I did not want to have to dance around that question. "Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks," I managed to get out.

"Really? You haven't eaten really anything today. I can bring back whatever. It's Dean's gas, not mine," Sam threw in the joke at the end to try to hide the fact that he was concerned.

"No, I'm fine…uh, the vending machine has a great selection for once," I lied through my teeth. I wasn't even sure where the vending machine was.

"Uh-huh…you sure?" he asked one last time.

"Yes!" That came out a little harsher than I had intended.

"Ok, fine. I'll be back later," Sam finished before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I instantly felt bad for snapping at him, not to mention flat out lying. But it was better this way. He wouldn't understand anyway. And Dean sure as hell wouldn't. How could I explain to them that the less I ate, the better I felt inside? Somehow not eating helped make sense of the deep pit I felt in my stomach. I couldn't make the emptiness go away after losing my dad. I knew it wasn't the right way to deal with my emotions or handle his death, but somehow by deciding to _not_ shove food down my throat, I felt like I was at least in control of something. And since the rest of my life was in a downward spiral, it was actually a comforting feeling.

I pinched the bridge of nose. I couldn't handle anymore of the care and share stuff, even if it was with myself in my own mind. And as if right on cue, the washer buzzed, announcing it had finished. After transferring everything over to the dryer, I took my place once again lying down on the chairs. Wasn't the most comfortable of places, but I'd take what I could get at this point.

* * *

I must have dozed off because the annoying and excessively loud dryer buzzer jerked me away from dreamland. I quickly shoved all of the clothes back into the duffels, deciding that sorting and folding would be much easier back in the room.

I once again found myself in the same predicament as before. Hands full of clothes and a closed room door. After blindly fumbling with the key to unlock it, someone opened it from the other side and I was met by my oldest brother.

"Hey," I said sharply as I shoved his bag into his chest. I stepped into the room and immediately saw Gordon sitting at the table by the window. Ugh. I felt dirty just being in his presence. Not to mention unsafe.

"You guys sure are lucky to have a girl around to wash your clothes," Gordon remarked. I stopped dead in my tracks. Oh _hell_ no. I threw the 2 remaining duffels on the bed before I turned to face the asshole.

"_Excuse _me?" I was livid.

"No offense," Gordon replied holding his hands up to show he meant no harm.

I took 2 steps towards him but Dean quickly cut me off, knowing where this was all heading. "Can I talk to you outside?" he said in a low voice, making it known it was _not_ really a question. I threw one last glare at Gordon before my brother all but shoved me out the door, closing it behind him.

"What is your problem?" he demanded.

"Were you not just in the same room as me? Did you not here the _insult_ that ass clown just threw at me?" Every word was dripping with anger.

"Yeah, but you gotta let that shit just roll on by because we're working a case with him and he happens to have some good info that can help us end these blood suckers," Dean explained, getting frustrated.

"'Roll on by?' You're kidding. I don't care if he knew how to kill freaking Big Foot, I'm not just gonna sit by and-," I said in a low voice, but was cut off before I could finish.

"Guys!" Sam yelled as he came jogging up beside us, appearing out of nowhere.

"Where you been?" Dean interrogated. Wait, how had I not realized that Sam wasn't back? Now that I thought about it, he should have been back long ago.

"In the nest," he informed. Our argument instantly forgotten, Dean and I instinctively moved closer to him, waiting for more details.

"How'd you find it?" I asked.

"I didn't. They found me," he explained, still in shock about it too.

"How'd you get out? How many of them did you kill?" Dean asked, overly excited now.

"None," Sam answered flatly.

"Sam, they just didn't invite you in for a beer and send you on your way," I said sarcastically. A nice vampire? Talk about oxymoron.

"That's exactly what they did," he responded. "Minus the beer," he added as an afterthought. Well good to know he wasn't partying it up with the vamps.

"All right, well, where is it then?" Dean demanded, anxious to get this show on the road.

"I don't know. I was blindfolded." Taken completely out of context, that could sound totally kinky. "All I know is we went over that bridge outside of town, but guys, listen. Maybe we shouldn't go after them," Sam practically begged.

"Why not?" I asked. I was completely torn. It goes bump in the night? It needs to die. Pretty simple, but Sam wasn't one to bring up something this big if he hadn't spent time thinking it all through, so I was open to hearing his reasons.

"I don't think they're like other vampires. I don't think they're killing people. They said they live off the animal blood, which explains all the cattle mutilations around here," he reasoned.

"And you believed them?" Dean snapped.

"Look at me! They let me go without a scratch." Sam held out his hands, gesturing for us to give him a once over. And he was right. Not a single rip in his clothes or anything. What was going on?!

"Wait, so you're saying…No, man, no way. I don't know why they let you go. I don't really care. We find 'em and we waste 'em," Dean finished as he started walking away, signaling that he wanted to end this conversation, but Sam having it.

"Why, Dean?" he yelled, causing Dean to turn back around.

"What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our _job_," Dean said, raising his voice. Apparently he wasn't as open to hearing the other side of things.

"No, that's not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil," he threw back. Sam looked over at me, waiting for me to say something to take his side, I assumed. Even though I was open to hearing his reasoning, I was still on the fence on this one.

"Uh, I guess it depends on which dictionary you use to look up 'evil'," I blurted out. That was the best answer I could come up with on such short notice. I hadn't had time to process this whole revelation that something I'd always been told was _evil_, might not actually be evil.

Sam let out a frustrated sigh at my pathetic support. "Well we need to back off."

"You know, Gordon's been on those vamps for a year. I think he'd know if they _weren't evil_," Dean spat.

"Gordon?" Sam let out a sarcastic laugh.

"That's right," Dean defended.

"Ellen says he's bad news," he retorted as he threw a glance towards me and raised his eyebrows, as if asking me to contribute more to that comment.

"Seriously Kate? You called Ellen?" He made it sound like I went and tattled on him or something absurd.

"Yeah, so what? I think she has a little more street cred with the Winchesters than your new bff Gordon," I retorted. I stood by my decision to call her.

"You don't think I can see what this is?" Sam asked.

"What are you talking about?" Dean demanded.

"He's a substitute for Dad, isn't he? A poor one," he spat. There was a beat of silence as the weight of his words sunk in. And to me, it was actually all starting to make sense.

"That would explain why you didn't defend me in front of that _idiot_," I retorted. Sam threw me a puzzled look, not understand what he'd missed, but Dean's voice drew his attention away.

"Shut up. _Both of you_," Dean seethed.

"He's not even close, Dean. Not on his best day," he explained. I nodded along in agreement because it was obviously true. Dean held up his hand, signaling us to stop with this, and he turned to walk away, but Sam wasn't finished. No, we were going to have a full on confrontation right now. And quite frankly I was beyond thrilled that I wasn't about to be on the receiving end of this one.

"You know you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it," Sam accused, but his voice was laced with sympathy. I froze as his words really hit me. So I wasn't the only one who felt this deep, dark hole inside. "But you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory." I guess Dean and I both were finding different ways to fill that void we felt.

"Okay," Dean responded coldly. He started to turn away, but quickly turned back around and his fist connected with Sam's face—hard. A small gasp escaped my lips. I definitely didn't see that one coming. I mean we had always been taught that you don't fight with your siblings. Well not physical fighting. Unless we were training. Then that was a different story. Ugh, it's confusing, but I promise there's rhyme and reason to it.

"Dean!" I yelled as I reached out and held down his arm in an attempt to keep him from punching Sam again. I knew it was kind of useless because Dean could easily overpower me, but it happened out of reflex.

Sam just took the punch and turned back to face Dean, holding his hand up to his cheekbone. He held up his hands, as if inviting him to take another shot at him. "You can hit me all you want. It won't change anything."

"I'm going to that nest. You don't want to tell me where it is? Fine. I'll find it myself," Dean said in a low voice before he ripped his arm from my grasp, spun on his heel, and headed back to the motel room.

Sam and I were left standing there, trying to take it all in. "You coming?" Dean barked over at us from the door and I knew he was talking to me. I gave Sam an apologetic look before I reluctantly made my way to the room. I wasn't taking sides or anything, but Dean had that authoritative tone going on and I figured it would do me less harm if I just obliged. I was surprised to hear that Sam was following behind me. I assumed he'd go for a walk to cool off or something. He's always been the walking type.

* * *

Well turned out freak face Gordon went MIA, taking the Impala's keys along with him. Call it an educated guess, but we all assumed he'd been eavesdropping on our family meeting outside, heard the clue about where the nest was, and took off after the vamps. Dean reluctantly agreed to give Sam the benefit of the doubt and we all crammed into the Impala, ready to get to the bottom of this.

"I can't believe this. I just fixed her up too," Dean whined as he was hunched over, trying to hot wire the Impala.

"Karma," I said nonchalantly from the backseat. And we all know I was right. That's what he got for not seeing things correctly from the start of this Gordon mess.

He finally managed to get the car started and turned to give me the bitchy glare before he looked at Sam. "So the bridge, is that all you got?"

"The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm," Sam informed us as he looked down at the map, tracing the path with his finger.

"How do you know?" Dean questioned, taken off guard by his precise answer.

"He's freaking MapQuest," I said. Told you so. The guy has a map built into his hard drive.

I saw a pull at the side of his lip; clearly he'd liked my compliment. And I was still jealous that I didn't have that super power. "They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge."

"I take that back. He's better than map quest." I was shocked. He had to be better because there was no way these crap, side roads would even _show up_ on MapQuest. Note to self: if we ever get caught up in a life or death game of capture the flag, I want Sam on my side. He's got some mad tracking skills for finding hidden paths.

"Yeah, he's good. A monster pain in the ass though, just like that one back there," Dean threw a nod in my direction. "But you're good," he finished, giving Sam an approving look. Not too often that Dean just throws out compliments.

* * *

With Sam's MapQuest ability and Dean's innate tendency to drive like a maniac, we finally pulled up at the old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Shocker. We got out of the car and I made sure to put my gun in the back lining of my jeans as we made our way into the house.

Needless to say, I wasn't surprised to see Gordon there, hovering over what I assumed to be a vampire who looked like she had been tortured.

"Sam, Dean, little Katie. Come on in," he invited. My anger level instantly rose. What was with the _little_ _Katie_?

"Hey, Gordon. What's going on?" Dean said calmly. It was like he was trying to talk someone down from the ledge.

"Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood. She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, aren't you?" Gordon said as he looked down at the vampire. "Want to help?"

I didn't miss the worried look Dean threw both of us. If it hadn't been a bad and probably slight inappropriate moment, I so would have said 'I told you so'. Dean cautiously took a few steps closer to him. "Look, man…," he tried to reason.

"Grab a knife. I was just about to start in on the fingers," Gordon said rather smoothly. He walked up to Lenore and I watched in shock as he drug the knife across her skin and pain spread across her face.

"Woah, woah, hey, let's all just chill out, huh?" Dean tried to slow things down.

"I'm completely chill." The sound of his voice is what sent _chills_ through me. He was a whole different level of psychotic than even I had thought. How was he so okay with torturing?!

"Gordon, put the knife down," I said sternly, careful not to raise my voice. Nobody wanted to anger the bear. I took a few steps closer to Gordon, but Dean put out his arm and blocked me from going any closer.

"Sounds like it's little Kate who needs to chill," he retorted.

Fists instinctively formed at my sides. "I'm _not_-," I started to yell back, but Sam cut me off. It was probably for the best.

"Just step away from her, all right?" he pleaded.

"You're right. I'm wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery," Gordon explained as he went over to the table and pulled a machete out of its case. "I just sharpened it, so it's completely humane." What an ass. He turned his back to us and walked back towards Lenore.

I couldn't handle this anymore. I knew I had been on the fence about if supernatural monsters could actually _not_ be evil, but after seeing this poor girl, the one who _didn't_ harm my brother, sitting there tied to the chair and being tortured by Gordon, I was officially on Team Sam. I slipped by Dean. "I'm letting her go," I announced as I tried to make my way past Gordon.

Without warning, Gordon turned around and pointed his knife at my chest. "You're not doing a damn thing," he threatened.

Seeing one of his siblings in danger, Dean immediately went into overprotective brother mode. "Hey, hey, Gordon, let's talk about this," he tried to reason.

"What's there to talk about? It's like I said, Dean. No shades of gray," Gordon explained. Apparently they had some inside joke or whatever, but the freakingly sharp knife being pointed at me was kind of distracting.

"I hear ya. I know how you feel. That vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one…," Dean was trying to appeal to any string of common sense he might have left in him.

Gordon started to laugh. "Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn't kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down and killed her myself."

I can't even imagine the face that Dean made when he heard that. I didn't know the whole story, but Gordon pretty much just gave us the Spark Notes version and I was taken back. "You did _what_?" Dean said, not able to believe it.

"It wasn't my sister anymore. It wasn't human. I didn't blink and neither would you." He pointed the knife to Dean to exaggerate his point. I had to say that I think that was a false statement. Dean wouldn't kill me. Or Sam. I mean. No, just no. Not even plausible.

"So you knew all along then? You knew the vampires weren't killing anyone and that they were feeding off of the cattle," Sam accused.

"And you just didn't care," I said, furious.

"Care about what? A nest of vamps suddenly acting nice? We're supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn't change what they are. I can prove it." And with that, he grabbed on to my arm and sliced his knife across it. Talk about unexpected pain. This whole thing just got way more personal than before. I heard both Sam and Dean pull out their guns. Gordon grabbed tightly onto my arm and dragged me over to Lenore and stretched my arm out above her.

"Let her go! Now!" Dean commanded.

"Relax. If I wanted to kill her, she'd already be on the floor." That was comforting. "Just making a little point," he explained. He jerked my arm a little bit until a few drops of blood came out of the cut and fell onto Lenore's face. Suddenly her fangs appeared and as a reflex I tried to get out of his grasp, but his grip tightened.

"Hey!" Dean yelled.

"You think she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her! They're all the same. Evil and bloodthirsty," Gordon said, thinking he had proven his point.

But to everyone's surprise, Lenore started mumbling "No, no!" and managed to control her vampire reflexes and retracted her fangs.

"You hear her?" Sam threw at Gordon. This was something we had never seen or heard of a vampire doing before. She was fighting her native instinct to react and kill a human. It was then that Dean finally realized that Sam had been right all along and the least he could do was fight his _own_ inner instinct to kill her and instead try to help.

Gordon must have been taken off guard too by Lenore's reaction because he loosened his grip on me and I was able to break free. I walked over to stand by Dean as Sam went over to Lenore's side. "We're done here," he said.

"Get her out of here," Dean said, but it was already clear that's what Sam had in mind too. He picked up Lenore and carried her out the door and I followed closely behind him. Sam settled her into the back seat of the Impala while I rummaged through Gordon's car in search of the keys he'd stolen. After finally finding them shoved in the glove box, I ran over and gave them to Sam. He took off with Lenore and I chose to stay behind. I had unfinished business here. And it started with Gordon's car.

I grabbed one of his knives and started with the tires. Ah, that felt good. Next up I popped the hood and saw there was so many options. Black wire? Eh, doesn't look important. That big tube thing that connects to the big gray thing? Clearly it was just aching to be cut apart. I was going to town on this, but then I heard a sudden _crash_ from inside the farmhouse. I grunted as I slammed the hood down again. They just knew had to ruin a good time.

I walked in just in time to see Dean dragging an unconscious Gordon across the room. "Oops," he muttered as he slammed Gordon's head into a wall. He threw me his devious grin before tossing Gordon in a chair.

I went over and helped Dean tie him down to the chair with some ropes. "I vote we carve into him just like he was doing to Lenore," I offered up.

"If we do that, then we aren't any better than he is," Dean replied. I didn't like it when he was all 'voice of reason' and that bullshit.

"But it sure would feel good," I said. Dean slightly laughed, thinking the exact same thing. "Oh, and I think now would be the perfect time to tell you…I told you so," I joked as I nodded towards Gordon. It needed to be made known that _I_ was right on this one.

"Shuddup," Dean bit before he threw a small smile my way. Interpretation? Acknowledging my rightness and apologizing at the same time for being a bitch earlier. Dean had a funny way of doing things, but after growing up with the moron, you learn to read between his lines.

* * *

A little while later, the roar of the Impala filled the air. Dean and I watched from the window as Sam got out and made his way into the house. Freak face Gordon was finally awake, but he was giving us the silent treatment. Talk about being a drama queen.

"Did I miss anything?" Sam joked as he entered the room, seeing Gordon all tied up.

"Nah, not much. You get Lenore out okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. _All_ of them did," he clarified, making sure to direct the last part right at Gordon.

"Then I guess our work here is done. How you doin', Gordy?" Dean taunted. "Gotta tinkle yet? Well, get comfy. We'll call someone in two or three days, have them come out and untie you," he finished as he jammed Gordon's knife into the table nearby.

"Let's roll out," I announced, throwing one last death glare to the freak before I started walking towards the door.

"Not yet…Well I guess this is goodbye. It's been real," Dean said. I turned around just in time to see him slam his fist into Gordon's face, causing him to tumble backwards in the chair. This officially rated in the top 10 best moments _ever_. "Okay. I'm good now. We can go," he informed us as he joined me and Sam at the door.

"That your work of art?" Dean laughed, pointing to Gordon's car nearby as we walked down the steps outside the farmhouse.

"Yeah, but I feel like it's not quite a masterpiece yet," I replied. Without hesitation I pulled my gun out and fired twice. The front winshield shattered into a million little pieces and it somehow made everything better.

"Geesh Kate!" Sam half scolded as he held his arm up to 'take cover'. I wasn't _that _ stupid. The glass was too far off to hit us. Well that's at least what I thought and it just so happens that my hypothesis was right. I was on a roll.

"There. Much better," I said proudly. Dean slapped an approving pat on my back.

We walked a few more feet before Dean went in front of Sam to stop him. "Sam? Clock me one," he said. He started rocking back and forth on his feet, full boxer pose.

"What?" Sam couldn't believe it.

"Come on. I won't even hit you back. Let's go," he tried to persuade.

"No," Sam replied, half laughing at how stupid this all seemed. He tried to make his way past Dean, but he blocked his path again.

"Let's go, you get a freebie. Hit me, come on," he said again.

"Well if you are just handing out freebies, I want in on that action," I smirked, making my way beside Dean, fists raised. Dean just gave me his _are you kidding me_ face.

"You look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I'll take a raincheck," Sam announced. And it was true. Dean had definitely taken the beating on this hunt.

"Raincheck," I said as I held my hand up. I wasn't going to miss this either.

"Denied," he shot back, shoving me slightly. "I wish we never took this job, you know? It just…just jacked everything up." He walked over to the driver's side and rested his hands on top of the hood of the car.

"What do you mean?" I asked, standing by the back door beside Sam. I hated when we had conversations across the top of the Impala. It was kind of inconvenient because I didn't have gigantic height status. It wasn't like I could just rest my elbows down on top of it and chat like they could.

"Think about all the hunts we've been on…our whole lives," Dean started. Both Sam and I nodded our heads, wanting him to continue. "What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing, you know? I mean the way Dad raised us…," Dean trailed off. Wow…Dean was questioning Dad for the first time…ever. I wasn't sure what to make of this.

"Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could," Sam explained. I was so taken off guard hearing those words come from _Sam_, that I suddenly whipped my head to face him. _Dad always did the best he could_ was Dean's line, usually when Sam was trying to put him down, but it seemed like Dad's death really did change things up for each of us.

"I know he did, but the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things…and I _do_ hate them. I mean when I killed that vampire at the mill, I didn't even think twice about it. I even _enjoyed _it," Dean confessed.

"But you didn't kill Lenore," I countered, trying to show him that he had done the right thing.

"No…but every instinct told me to. I was going to kill her. I was going to kill them all."

"Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters," Sam comforted.

"Yeah, well 'cause you're a pain in my ass, even _little Katie_ too," Dean smirked mischievously. That damn Gordon.

I narrowed my eyes and gave him my best bitch look, which only caused him to smirk more. I really needed to work on acquiring a more threatening look.

"Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass then," Sam added. Had he just confirmed that he was staying with us and not heading back to Stanford?! I couldn't wipe my excitement from my face.

Dean's smile faded and a more serious look formed on his face now. "Thanks..uh, for staying," he said genuinely. "Both of you."

My previous excitement was long gone and I felt my eyes widen as I entered a state of shock. I stared at Dean, searching his face for any other information that he might know. Was he talking about what I thought he was talking about?! How the hell did he know about that? When did he figure it out? There's no way…I hid _all_ the evidence in a place I knew he would never look and my freaking email was password protected and brother-proofed. It was near impossible...

"Don't mention it," I heard Sam mutter. I felt his glare burn into the side of my head. I threw him a quick, fake smile, before I opened the door and threw myself inside the car, but I couldn't help but notice his scrunched up forehead and confused look. I had hoped he'd been temporarily deaf and hadn't heard Dean's comment, but I guess not all of my wishes could come true. Damnit…this was not the time or the place for this conversation. Preferably it would be the day after never.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Sam and Dean got into the car without saying anything else, but I had a feeling it wasn't over and done with. And I somehow had to get to the bottom of just how much Dean had actually figured out. "I say we get some grub. I'm starving," Dean announced as he turned on the engine and started taking off down the dirt road. Great, if it wasn't one thing it was another. I silently willed that my brothers would believe me and not read too much into it when I told them I wasn't hungry and just wanted to go back to the hotel to sleep.


End file.
